Author: admin

Those Lovely Farmer&

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A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, ”I’m Eddie, I’m here to pick up Betty. We’re going for spaghetti, is she ready?” No. The second beau came to the door and said, ”I’m Joe, I’m here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?” No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. ”Hello, my name is Chuck.” The farmer shot Chuck.

Construction Code

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A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can’t hear. So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He points to his eye, meaning, “I”, then at his knee, meaning, “need”, then he moves his hand back and forth, meaning, “handsaw”.

The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and begins to masturbate.

The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor yelling, ”What the hell is wrong with you!?! Are you stupid or something? I was saying that I needed a handsaw!”

The laborer looks at the carpenter and says, ”I knew that. I was just trying to tell you that I was coming.”

Be smart drink more

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A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, much like the brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.

The slowest buffalo are the sick and weak so they die off first, making it possible for the herd to move at a faster pace.

Like the buffalo, the weak, slow brain cells are the ones that are killed off by excessive beer drinking and socializing, making the brain operate faster.

The moral of the story: Drink more beer, it will make you smarter.

Points of View

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A man and woman are having a relationship for about 4 months now. One Friday night they meet at a bar after work. They stay for a few, then went to get some food at a local restaurant near their respective homes. They eat, then go back to his house and she stays over.
Her story: He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been because I was a bit late but he didn’t say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. So we went to this restaurant and he’s STILL acting a bit funny and I’m trying to cheer him up and start to wonder whether it’s me or something else. I ask him, and he says no. But you know I’m not really sure. So anyway, in the cab back to his house, I say that I love him and he just puts his arm around me. I don’t know what the hell this means because you know he doesn’t say it back or anything. We finally get back to his place and I’m wondering if he’s going to dump me! So I try to ask him about it but he just switches on the TV. Reluctantly, I say I’m going to go to sleep. Then, after about 10 minutes, he joins me and we have sex. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave. I dunno, I just don’t know, what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he’s met someone else???

His story: $hitty day at work, low on funds, and tired. Got laid though.

Un hombre que est� en

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Un hombre que est� en la recepci�n de un hotel quiere preguntarle algo al conserje; as� que se da la vuelta para acercarse al mostrador y, accidentalmente, le da un codazo en la teta a una chica que est� a su lado. Los dos se quedan cortados y el tipo atina a decir:

“Se�orita, si tiene usted el coraz�n tan tierno y blando como su pecho, s� que podr� perdonarme”.

“Si la tienes tan dura como tu codo, te espero en la habitaci�n 1221”, responde la joven.