Author: admin

What’s a Jewish American Princess’s idea of natural childbirth?

Absolutely no makeup.

Jerry is excited that he’s been hired to play his trumpet for a movie score.

After the sessions, which go beautifully, Jerry can’t wait to see the finished product.

A little embarrassed, the producer explains that the music is for a porn flick that will be out in a month.

A month later, Jerry, with his jacket collar up and wearing dark glasses, goes to see the film.

He sits in the back next to an elderly couple who also seem to be wearing disguises.

The movie starts, and it is the filthiest, most perverse porn flick ever, group sex, S&M, golden showers and then, halfway through, a dog gets in on the action.

The dog has sex with all the women and most of the men.

Embarrassed, Jerry turns to the old couple and whispers, “I’m only here for the music.

The old woman turns to Jerry and whispers back, “That’s OK, we’re just here to see our dog.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown

Jane was a first time contestant on a $65,000 quiz show. Lady Luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had gained a substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out before the show’s host could ask her the big question.

Jane agreed to return the following day. She was nervous as her husband drove them home.

‘I’ve just gotta win tomorrow. I wish I knew what the answers were. You know I’m not going to sleep at all tonight. I will probably look like garbage tomorrow.’

‘Relax honey,’ her husband, Roger, reassured her. ‘It will all be OK.’

Ten minutes after they arrived home, Roger grabbed the car keys and started heading out the door.

‘Where are you going?’ Jane asked.

‘I have a little errand to run. I should be back soon.’

After an agonizing three hour absence, Roger returned, sporting a very wide and wicked grin.

‘Honey, I managed to get tomorrow’s question and answer.’

‘What is it?’ she cried excitedly.

‘OK, the question is, “What are the three main parts of the male anatomy?”

And the answer is, “The head, the heart and the penis.”‘

The couple went to sleep with Jane now feeling at ease, plummeting into a deep slumber. At 3.30 am, however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger, who was asking her the quiz show question.

‘The head, the heart, the penis,’ Jane replied groggily before returning to sleep.

Roger asked her again in the morning as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again she replied correctly.

So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the quiz show. Even though she knew the question and answer, she could feel butterflies.

The cameras began running and the host, after reminding the audience of the previous day’s events, faced Jane and asked the big question.

‘Jane, for $65,000, what are the main parts of the male anatomy? You have ten seconds.’

‘Hmmm, uhm, the head? She said nervously.

‘Very good. Six seconds.’

‘Eh, uh, the heart?

‘Very good. Four seconds.’

‘I, uhh, ooooooooohh, darn! My husband drilled it into me last
night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning… ‘

‘That’s close enough,’ said the game show host, ‘Congratulations!’