The Blonde goes a fishing

A blonde wanted to take up a new hobby so decided to take up ice fishing. She got all of the equipment and set off to start her new hobby. She found a piece of ice and cut a small circular hole in it. On went the maggot on then end of her fishing rod and in went the rod into the water. Minutes later a voice came from above which said “there are no fish under the ice!” Confused she moved futher down the patch of ice that she had found. Once again, she cut a small circular hole in to the ice and in went her rod. Once again a booming voice made her jump. “there are no fish under the ice!” Confused she stuttered “God, God is that you?” “No this is not God, this is the manager of the ice rink!”

More Blonde Answers

What’s a blonde’s mating call?
I think I’m drunk.

Why was the blonde looking in the refrigerator?
Because The orange juice said concentrate

What do you call 2 blondes in the front seat of a car?
Duel air bags!

How did the blonde rob the drive-up window at the bank?
She put her gun in the little basket along with a note that said “This is a stick-up”

How many blondes does it take to make popcorn?
Four. One to hold the pan, and three to shake the stove

Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side

Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?

They think their picture is being taken.

How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?

It has a stamp on it.

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?

It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

What do you call a beautiful blond Mensa member?

Foxymoron.

What goes Vroom-Screech Vroom-Schreech?

A blond at a flashing red light

What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?

Once you get them on their back they’re screwed…..

What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you?

Run like hell she’s got a grenade in her mouth.

What’s the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?

I know how many men went down on the Titanic

What’s the first thing a blonde says after sex?

Was it good for me?

What’s the first thing a Blonde says the morning after sex?

Are you guys all on the same team?

What the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?

You don’t let your friends borrow your toothbrush.

What do you call a blonde who’s found dead in a closet?

The 1989 Hide and Seek Champion.

How do you get a blonde to go on the roof?

tell her the drinks are on the house

Why do blondes wear green lipstick?

cause red means stop

what does the blonde do when she sees her reflection in a mirror?

starts a conversation!

Is the coast clear?

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!” and hung up.

The husband said, “Who was that?”

The wife said, “I don’t know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

Blonde on the Stand

At a paternity trial, the blonde’s lawyer asked, “On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11:45 p.m., in the locale known generally as ‘Lover’s Lane’ did the defendant have sexual relations with you?” “Yes,” whispered the girl, her head bowed. “And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of your knowledge, have a climax?” the lawyer continued. “Oh no,” she replied, “I’m pretty sure he had one of them real fancy Mazdas.”

Suicidal Blonde

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband: “Shup up, or you’re next!”