Category: blondes

Couldn’t learn to water ski because she couldn’t find a lake with a slope.Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said “2 to 4 years”Couldn’t call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.When asked what the capital of California was; answered “C”Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

A very well-built, young, blonde lady was lying on her
Psychiatrist�s couch, telling him how frustrated she was.
“I tried to be an actress and failed,” she complained. “I tried to be a
secretary and failed. I tried being a writer and failed. I tried being a sales
clerk and I failed at that, Too.”

The shrink thought for a moment and said, “Everyone needs to live a full,
satisfying life. Why don’t you try nursing?”

The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts,
points it at the shrink, and says, “Well,Go ahead. I’ll give it a try!”

A blonde went out to her mail box and looked in, closed the door and went back in the house. A few minutes later she went out and looked in the mail box again.
She did this several times and her neighbor that was watching her said: “You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into your mail box.”

The blonde answered, “No, I am working on my computer and it keeps telling me that I have mail.”

Why are blondes hurt by people’s words?

Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

2 brunettes and a blonde were sitting in bar when the blonde turned around and said hey man your really dumb D-u-m hey blonde said the bruntte there’s a b then the blonde said where

i knew a blonde who was so stupid she…
~she got stabed in a shoot out.
~she sent a pack of M&Ms back because they had W on them instead
of M.
~she tride to put M&Ms in alphabeticle order.
~it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minuts (old but good)
~she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
~when she was going to the airport she saw a sing that said
“airport left” and she went home.
~if u gave her a penny for her thoughts ud get change back.
~when she saw NC-17 (under 17 not admited) she went back and got
16 friends.
~when she heard that 90% of all crimes happen at home….. she
moved.
~she thought Boys II Men where a daycare.

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She
wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but
was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were
asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of
one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go
out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a
reasonable price!”

The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll
luck out and catch yourself a big one!”

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on
catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots
the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in
hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming
quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a
great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying
nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips
the alligator on it’s back, and frustrated, shouts, “Damn, this
one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

Question: Why does a blonde dog have lumps on his head?

Answer: From chasing parked cars!

Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver’s test?

A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

She was so blonde that when someone told her that she was only stupid in days ending in y, she said: Good, I am not stupid all the time!

How do you confuse a blonde?
You don’t.

They’re born that way.

Q:How did the blonde die drinking milk?

A:The cow sat down