Yours Fun Portal !
There was a blonde, a brunette and a redhead who died. When they got to heaven god said, If you can reach the 100th step you will get into heaven. Every 5th step I will tell you a joke but if you laugh you will fall off.
The brunette went first and laughed on the 45th step, then the redghead laughed on the 60th step.
Finally the blonde went and she got to the 99th step and laughed.
“Why are you laughing?” He asked.
“I just got the first one”
Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall?
So she could see what was on the other side!
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
Why was the blonde’s steering wheel covered with lipstick?
She was trying to blow the horn.
Submitted by Curtis
Submitted by Calamjo
There was a blonde and she went to the emergency room because she got shot in the hand.
The doctor asked her how she got shot in the hand. She replied,”I tried to kill myself.”
He replies”what?”
She says, “Well,first i put the gun to my chest,then thought ‘”Wait I have a 500 dollar boob job,and don’t want to mess it up”, then I put the gun to my chin, and thought “well, I just got new dental work done, don’t want that messed up”, so I put the gun to my ear,and then thought, it will be really loud, so I put my hand between the gun and my ear and pulled the trigger!”
Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?
They wanted to see if their maxi pads really had wings!
There was a blonde going down a highway, and was swerving left, and right, left, and right, and she continues to do this for about a mile on down the road. Finally a police man pulls her over and asks, ” Madam, if you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing?!?!!?”
The blonde says, ” I have to keep swerving or else i will wreck and hit the tree!!” The police man says. ” Madam, thats not a tree, its your air freshener.
Why did the blonde put T.G.I.F. on her shoes? Toes Go In First!
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a pickle? A: The pickles herpes are natural.
Waht do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?You always hear about them but you never see them!
A young blonde female stock broker was bored with her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides, every other broker in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. She visited a local car dealer and saw a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with it’s gorgeous lines and red paint. An empty cheque stub later and off she was, tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the stereo, what could possibly be better? What could possibly go wrong?As that thought crossed her mind, there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded that she didn’t have a bloody clue as to what was wrong. She grabbed her pocket phone and called the AutoClub. A short while later a bright shiny yellow tow truck pulled up behind her. ‘That’s a lovely car,’ says the mechanic. ‘What seems to be the matter?’ Well, it just conked out I’m afraid.”Let me have look.’ He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again. ‘Thank goodness,’ she said. ‘What was the matter ?”Simple really, just crap in the carburetor,’ he replied.Looking shocked she asked, ‘Oh, OK. How many times a week do I have to do that?’
Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes
– Something to do on a saturday night
She was so blonde…
She got stabbed in a shoot-out.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
She told me to meet her at the corner of ‘walk’ and ‘don’t walk’.
She tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.
She tried to drown a fish.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you’d get change back.
They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
Under ‘education’ on her job application, she put ‘Hooked On Phonics.’
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says ‘sign here’, she put ‘Sagittarius.’
She asked for a price docket at the Dollar Store.
If she spoke her mind, she’d probably be speechless.
She studied for a blood test… and failed.
She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
She thought she needed a ticket to get on Soul Train.
She sold the car for gas money.
When she saw the ‘NC-17’ (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.
When she heard that 90 percent of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.