Category: blondes

One day a husband was chiding his beautiful blonde wife about leaving her keys in the ignition of her car.”If I take them out of the car I lose them,” she reasoned. “Yes dear, but what if someone steals your car?” the husband countered. “Oh that’s okay,” the wife chirped happily, “I keep a spare key in the glove box!”

A guy took a blonde out on a date.

Eventually they ended up parked at lover’s point where they started making out.

After things started getting pretty good, he thought he might get lucky, so he asked her, “Do you want to go in the back seat?”

“No!” she answered.

Okay, he thought, maybe she’s not ready yet. Now he has her shirt and skirt off, the windows are steamed, and things are getting really hot, so he asks again, “Do you want to go in the back seat?”

“No!” she answers again.

Now he has her bra off, they’re both very sweaty, and she even has his pants unzipped. Okay, he thinks, she HAS to want it now.

“Do you want to go in the back seat?” he asks again.

“No!” she answers yet again.

Frustrated, he demands, “Well why not?”

“Because I want to stay up here with you!”

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?

A: Hump me Dump me.

How do you drown a blonde?
Put a ‘scratch and sniff’ sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Three blondes were walking through the woods when they came upon a
set of tracks.

“Looks like deer tracks”, said one blonde.

“No, it looks like maybe a cow track,” another blonde suggested.

“Actually, I think they are just dog tracks,” the third blonde
offered.

They were still arguing when the train hit them!

Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized.

a blonde walks in 2 a eletronics store and ask for a tv the man a the till goes sorry we dont sell to blondes so she changes her hair color and goes back in and she goes can i have that tv please the man goes no so she thinks to herself god he must of noticed my face so she has plastic surgery just to get a tv and she goes in to the shop and asks can i have that tv please the man goes no she says why not the man goes because thats not a tv thats a microwave

A blonde goes into a world-wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland.

When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, “I don’t have any money but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!”

To that the man asks, “Anything?”

And the blonde says, “Yes, anything!”

With that, the man says “Follow me.”

He walks into the next room and tells her to enter and shut the door. The blonde complies.

He then says “Get on your knees” and she does that as well.

He then says “Unzip my fly” and she does.

He then says “Go ahead and take it out.”

With that, she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands.

The man then says, “Well, go ahead!”

She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips..

She says “HELLO, MOM?”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis, Tantilazing, yisman and Glaci

This blonde goes to the Western Union office and says, “I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in Europe.”The clerk says it will be $100, and she replies “But I don’t have any money…. and I *must* get a message to her, it’s urgent!… I’ll do anything to get a message to her.”The clerk replies “Anything?” “Yes…. ANYTHING!” replies the blonde.He leads her back to his office and closes the door. He tells her to kneel in front of him. “Unzip me…”She does. “Take it out….. go ahead.” She does this as well.She looks up at him, his member in her hands and he says “Well… go ahead.. do it..”She brings her lips close to it and shouts “Hello?…. Mom?”

a blond fell off a brige and drowned in heaven an angle asked him what his name was he said joe the angle passed out and died again. the blonde had farted and killed the angle and got sent back to earth.

Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a
blonde drives a car?

A: Cause she blows the horn!