Category: blondes

Your bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

What do you call an all-blonde skydiving team?A new version of the Lawn Darts game.

What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?

“It’s OK Daddy, I’m not hurt.”

Why do blondes like tilt steering? More headroom

Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?

To keep her neck warm.

Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?

A: Tits Go In Front.

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about a job. In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “GREEN SIDE UP!” In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP!” The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP!” The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?” “I’m sorry,” came the reply.”But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.”

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb.
One of them decides to call 911:

Blonde: We need help. We’re three blondes changing a light bulb.

Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?

Blonde: Yes.

Operator: The power in the house in on?

Blonde: Of course.

Operator: And the switch is on?

Blonde: Yes, yes.

Operator: And the bulb still won’t light up?

Blonde: No, it’s working fine.

Operator: Then what’s the problem?

Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
He wanted to know who the other man was…

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

How does she confuse you back?

She comes out and says she did.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Clark Kent

This blonde walks into a pawn shop and says i wanna buy that t.v, up there store owner says we dont sale to blondes.She died here hair red comes back the next day says i wanna buy that t.v.up there store owner says we dont sale to blondes.She said how did you know i was the blonde from yesterday he says because thats not a t.v. its a microwave.

One day a red-head, a burnette and a blond were walking on the beach when the trip over a magic mirrior.

This little face pops out at them and says if the can tell him one true thrue thing about themselves they can have anyhting they desire.

But if they lie he will turn them into a frog. So the red-head goes first,”I think I am the smartest person in the world.”

The mirrior said that she could have anything she disired and she wanted a thousand dollars and she got it.

Now it was the burnettes turn and she said,”I think I am the second smartest person in the world” and the mirrior she could have anything she disired. She wanted a million dollars and she got it.

Finally it was the blondes turn. She stepped up to the mirrior and said,”Let me get this straight, all I gotta do is say one true thing about myself and then I get what ever I desire.

The mirrior said that that was correct, but if it was a lie he would turn her into a frog. She started to say what she thought was true about herself, “I think…..” and the mirrior turned her into a frog.

Three bronzed Alaskan blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding
fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them,
taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your
fishing licenses.”

“We don’t have any.” replied the first blonde.

“Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses.” said the Game
Warden.

“But officer,” replied the second blonde, “We aren’t fishing. We all have
magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of
the river.”

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe
magnets tied on the end of each line.

“Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game warden, “Take all the
debris you want.” And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started
laughing hysterically. “What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the
other two, “Doesn’t he know that there are steelhead in this river?!”