Category: blondes

Two blondes were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each hit their ball anyway. When they walked to the green, they discovered one about three feet from the cup, while the other somehow had gone directly in. They tried to figure out which ball belonged to who, since they were both using Titleist number threes. Unable to decide, they returned to the Club House and asked the golf pro for a ruling.

After hearing their story and congratulating them both on their superb shots under such adverse conditions he asked, “OK, so who was playing the yellow ball ?”

A guy rings neighbor’s doorbell & a lovely blonde woman answers the door.

“Is Ed here?” he asks.

“Yes, but he’s in the shower,” she says.

“I really need to see him but I am in quite a rush, and I can only wait a couple of minutes,” he says. As he waits, he continues, “being your neighbor, it might be wrong of me to say so, but my dear… you have the loveliest rack. I’ve got $100 if you’ll show me.”

“Oh Mike, that is so wrong. On the other hand, we sure could use the money,” she says as she pulls up her top.

“Wow! That was worth every cent, but beyond that you also have the cutest ass I’ve ever seen. I’ll give you another $100 to show me the rest of your stuff.”

“Oh Mike, that’s awful but Ed’s in the shower so he won’t know and another $100 really would help around here,” she says, dropping her shorts.

“Well I gotta go. Tell Ed I stopped by, OK?” Mike leaves, and a few minutes later Ed gets out of the shower and asks, “Who was at the door?”

“Just Mike”, she says.

“Mike, huh? Did he have the 200 bucks he owes me?”

Q. Why do blondes get confused in the toilets?

A. They have to pull their own pants down!!

your dad is blonde and so your mum so how come your brown your mum has fucked tooooooo many people brov!!!!!!!!!!!!

181. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.

182. Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

183. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave at her.

184. Q: What do you call a smart blond?
A: A golden retriever.

185. Q: How do you check a blonde’s IQ?
A: With a tire gauge.

186. Q: How does a blonde interpret
6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.

187. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: “Oh look! Doughnut seeds!”

188. Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don’t have to worry about blowing their brains out.

189. Q: Why do blonds have two more brain cells than a cow ?
A1: So they don’t shit everywhere when you pull their tits.
A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don’t moo.

190. Q: Why aren’t BLONDES good cattle herders?
A: Because the can’t even keep two calves together!

191. Q: Why don’t blonds breast feed?
A: Because they always burn their nipples.

192. Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.

193. Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.

194. Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

195. Q: What’s a blonds’ favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

196. Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde’s eyes?
A: The back of her head.

197. Q: Why do blondes drive VW’s
A: Because they can’t spell PORSCHE!!

198. Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night !

199. Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can’t bring beer from the fridge.

200. Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they’re on the train they can tell if they’re going to work or coming home.

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says “If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day”

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?A: Because they can spell it.

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.One day she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.Hysterically, the blonde responds to her husband, ‘Shut up… you’re next.’

A blonde, a burnette, and a red head walk into a bar.
the burnette says u want to see somthing nasty they say ya then she takes a bottle and shoves it up her vagina.
the red hed says thats nothing so she takes 2 bottles and does the same thing.
the blonde says oh thats nothing than she slides down the bar stool.

When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?

When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.

She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, “What’s the story?”

He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor.”

She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”

Submitted by Sherri
Edited by Curtis

A blonde went in the library and walked up to the librarian behind the desk and said, “I would like a cheeseburger.” The librarian replied,”Shh! This is a library!” The blonde blushed.”oh, sorry..” then she whispered, “I would like a cheeseburger.”