Category: blondes

How does a blond turn on the light after sex? She opens the car door.

Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?He missed.

A cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it over. He walks up to the car and sees a nice-looking blonde woman is driving and smells liquor on her breath.

He says, “I’m going to have to give you the breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.”

She blows up the balloon and he walks over to the police car. After a couple of minutes comes back and says, “It looks like you’ve had a couple of stiff ones.”

She replies “You mean it shows that, too?”

Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine?

A: “Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!”

One day a blonde was driving down the street and saw another blonde in a grass field trying to row a boat.

Then the blonde that was driving got out of the car and yelled “Your the kind of blonde that make us blondes look bad, if i could swim i would give you a piece of my mind!”

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.The blonde followed the doctor’s advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: “How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?”

A blonde dyed her hair black, and thought she looked so great she decided to go for a drive in the country to celebrate. After a bit, she was driving by a sheep ranch and stopped to look at the sheep which she liked very much. She went over the the rancher and said, “If I can tell you how many are in this field right now, will you let me have one?” The rancher said, “If you can count that fast, sure!” The blonde said: “524.” The rancher, amazed, told her to take her pick, for that was the exact count. After a few minutes, the blonde came back with her animal. The rancher said, “If I can tell you what color your hair was before you dyed it, could I have my dog back?”

Ask the following to a Blonde to see if she is a DUMB BLONDE or a smart blonde…yeah right…

1.Who do want to be most like in life:
A.Vanna White
B.Michelle Fiefer
C.Britney Spears
E.None of the Above

2.In a game of Hide-And-Go Seek, do you:
A.Run when you see the seeker
B.Stay hiding until the seeker finds you
C.Run when the seeker sees you
E.Follow the seeker quietly

3.What happens when you get Alzheimers Disease
A.You loose alot of weight
B.Gain weight
C.Get really smart
D.Loose your memory

4.How do you kill a bird:
A.Hit it
B.Throw it off a building
C.Cook it
D.All of the above

5.What’s an important question about pregnancy
A.Is it mine
B.How far along am I
C.Is it a boy or girl
D.What hospital should I go to for delivery

Don’t read them this part:

Results:
1.
A=5pts.
B=3pts.
C=2pts.
D=1pt.

2.
A=4
B=5
C=2
D=3

3.
A=4
B=3
C=5
D=1

4.
A=3
B=5
C=4
D=1

5.
A=5
B=1
C=3
D=2

TOTAL:
20 =Official Dumb Blonde; 15-19=Pretty Dumb; 10-14=Not Bad; 9-Smart for a Blonde

A blonde dies her hair brown.
She is driving her car by the side of the road and sees a man. She stops and asks,”If i can guess the name of your dog can i have it?” He replies “yes, but you have to guess it right the first time.” She was correct and he gave her the dog.
The man says to her, “If i can guess the real color of your hair can i have my dog back?”

Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?A: Perri-air.

Q: what do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: “nice tits!”

Q: Why don’t blondes double recipes?A: The oven doesn’t go to 700 degrees.