Blonde Swims the english Channel

A blonde, brunette and a redhead were all in a swimming race.
They were supposed to swim the English Channel.

A group of spectators anxiously awaited the three women at the finish line. The brunette came in first, then the redhead a little later. They waited hours for the blonde to show up. When she finally did, they asked her what had taken her so long.

The blonde was very upset as she screamed, “This was supposed to be a breast stroke race, and those girls were using their arms!!!”

Blonde in the Elmo Factory

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw
an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went
down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn’t
want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and
told him she would do anything because she needed the money
really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.

After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor
showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was
backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the
problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to
marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, ”I said to give each Elmo two test tickles;
not two testicles!”

Boating

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, a blonde, new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t get her brand new 22 ft Bayliner to perform. It wouldn’t get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong.

A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath the boat. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

Stolen engine

A blonde woman is driving a Porsche. She sees
another blonde woman with a Porsche that has
broken down on the side of the road. She stops to
ask what’s wrong.

The owner of the broken Porsche
said, ‘I just had a look under the hood, well,
while I was driving somebody had stolen the
engine.’

The other said, ‘Oh, don’t wory, I have a spare
one in the back of my Porsche.