Category: blondes

Two blondes were planning to rob a bank.
The first blonde had a tendancy to be smarter than the second.

They went over and over their plans for the robbery and finally they headed out to commit the crime. They pulled up in their car in front of the bank.

The first blonde says to the second blonde, “Are you SURE you understand the plan?”

“Yes!” replied the second blonde.

So the second blonde gets out of the passenger side of the car and heads into the bank.

Time passes, and after 10 minutes the second blonde has not returned.
The first blonde gets very nervous.

Finally, out comes the second blonde from the bank dragging the safe behind her by a rope, and seconds behind her comes the guard with his pants down.

“No you idiot! I told you to blow the SAFE and tie-up the GUARD!”

there was this blond bibbo tryin 2 comit sewiside so…….. she hangs out of a top window wid her hand tied to on a rop a ma n walks past and says “wot in the world r u doin” she replise” tryin 2 comit sewiside” his says “well y dont u tie it round ur nek “she says”well i tred that but i cont breath”

hehehehahahahohoho lol

HEY!
“Oh my god”, said the blonde chick.
“what?”said the other chick.
“I think he said something”said the blonde chick.
“who?”said the other chick.
“Freddie,”said the blonde.
“I know”said the other chick.
“Not him”.said the blonde.
“I think it was the fish”said the blonde.
I raid about it in a fiction book”,said the blonde.
“I read that fish can talk in a great book by Dr. Suess.
“Your retarded”said the other chick.
“Fiction means its true”.no it doesn’t

Who am I??
-I am somewhat long and slender.
-But when I go into a mouth I get wet and soft.
-sometimes I go into a strange cave and my master makes me hop
up and down for a little while til I get all squishy.
-When I’m done I get all hard and lumpy.

I am a piece of bubble gum

Two blondes were walking in the woods when they came upon some tracks in the dirt, the first blonde says, “Look at those bear tracks”. The second blonde says,”Those aren’t bear tracks, those are deer tracks”.The first blonde says “No they’re not, there bear tracks”. The second blonde argues back.”No they’re not, they’re deer tracks.”Then, they both got hit by the train.

The Blonde Boater

A True Story, if she had killed herself she’d be a shoe-in for the Darwin
Award (might be a problem in the gene pool).

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour
east of Bakersfield, a blonde, new to boating was having a problem. No matter
how hard she tried, she just couldn’t get her brand new 22-ft Bayliner to
perform. It wouldn’t get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in
almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.

After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby
marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong. A thorough topside check
revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the
outdrive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch.

So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath the
boat. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

ok. there where three girls stranded on an island. a blonde, brunette and a red head. when all of a sudden they find a jeany bottle then puff out coes the jeany, and he says, u get 3 wishes and because there are 3 of u u each get 1 wish. so he first asked the brunette,she said ” i miss my friends and family, so i wish i could go home, and puff her wish was granted. the he asked the red head, she missed her friends and family to so she wished to go home and her wish was granted, the the jeany turns around and saw the blonde girl crying and said ” why what could ever be the matter” and she said i miss my friends i wish they where still here with me and puff her wish was his comand and the blonde brunette and the red head where all back on the island. by penne

One day this blonde calls her friend and says, ‘Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle and I can’t even figure out how to start it.’Her friend asks, ‘What is it a puzzle of?’ The blonde says, ‘From the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.’Well, the friend figures that he’s pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table. He studies them for a moment, then studies the box.He turns to her and says, ‘Well, no matter what I do, I’m not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.’She asks, ‘Oh, how come?’He says, ‘Look, never mind, let’s just relax, have a cup of coffee and we’ll put all these cornflakes back in the box.’

1. Are knives really sharp?

2. What would happen if I stuck my hand in the pirannah
aquirium?
3. Are venomous snakes really poisonoise?

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?

A: So she wouldn’t get Hearing Aids.

How did the blonde explain how his helicopter crashed?

He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.

What is a brunette between two blondes? An interpreter.

What is chemistry’s greatest achievement ……
Artificial blondes!