Category: blondes

Q: Why don’t blondes like making KOOL-AID?A: Because they can’t fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

Why do blondes wear underwear?To keep their ankles warm.

A blonde went into the pharamacy and said “where is ur bottom deodorant” and the pharmasist replied “i don’t know what kind of deodorant ur talking about,bring it with u next time and maybe i can help u” the blonde said ok and the next day she came back and showed the pharamist and he said “its to use under ur arms” and she said no it says here to apply push up bottom

How do you kill a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool.

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.
She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the its mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around its neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune…
…the Wal-Mart manager runs out and unplugs the horse.

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She’d seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary “tools” together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.

Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!!!”

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino and began to cut another hole in the ice.

Again from the heavens, the voice bellowed, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!!”

The blonde, now quite worried, moved down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole in the ice.

The voice came once more, “FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!”
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, “Is that you, Lord?”

The voice replied, “NO you idiot!…this is the Ice-Rink Manager.”

The rest are hunt’n peckers.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the movies. During the pre-views, she
asked him if he would go and buy her some M & Ms. When he returned with her
candy, she opened the bag, picked out all the brown ones and threw them away.

“What did you do that for?” he asked her.

“I’m allergic to chocolate!” she replied.

One bright sunny day, a beautiful blonde girl was cruising the countryside in her new, shiny red sports car. Suddenly, she jammed on the brakes, and she brought the car to a sideways, screeching halt. She quickly jumped out of the car, and ran up the road a little way, to where she began fuming in anger.

For there, about 40 feet in front of her, in the middle of the road, were two other beautiful young blondes, sitting in a rowboat. One was on the middle seat, straining her arms and pulling for all she was worth on a set of oars, while the other was in the bow of the boat shouting through a megaphone, “Stroke! Stroke!”

So infuriated was the first blonde at these two and their foolishness, that she began pacing back forth on the pavement, throwing gravel and dirt at them from her place on the road, and she screamed at the top of her lungs, “You two are so stupid, and if I could swim, I’d come out there and kick both your behinds!!”

Two blondes were planning to rob a bank.
The first blonde had a tendancy to be smarter than the second.

They went over and over their plans for the robbery and finally they headed out to commit the crime. They pulled up in their car in front of the bank.

The first blonde says to the second blonde, “Are you SURE you understand the plan?”

“Yes!” replied the second blonde.

So the second blonde gets out of the passenger side of the car and heads into the bank.

Time passes, and after 10 minutes the second blonde has not returned.
The first blonde gets very nervous.

Finally, out comes the second blonde from the bank dragging the safe behind her by a rope, and seconds behind her comes the guard with his pants down.

“No you idiot! I told you to blow the SAFE and tie-up the GUARD!”

Ok. So there was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They were all trapped in a desert and each of them brought something that they would probably need. The brunette decided that she would bring food so just in case they were hungry they would have something to eat. The red head brought water so just in case they got thirsty they would have something to drink. And the blonde? The blonde brought a cardoor. The brunette and the red head were all wonder why did she bring a cardoor so they asked, “Why in the world would you bring a cardoor?” The blonde says, “SO THAT JUST IN CASE IT GETS HOT WE COULD ROLE DOWN THE WINDOW!!!!”

Question: Where do you see blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde…

Answer: A naked blonde doing cartwheels!