Category: blondes

Q: what do blondes do with their a******* in the morning?
a: pack their lunch and send them to work.

A blonde goes to Best Buy and looks at the TVs. An employee
comes over and asks if she needs help. The blonde replies, “Yes,
I would like to you to show me what all these buttons do.” The
employee cringes at her dumbness, but he remembers that she is,
after all, a blonde, and shows her the buttons.

He begins, “This is the volume button. It makes the sound louder
or softer. This is the channels button. It changes the channels.
And this is the power button. It turns the TV off or on…” The
blonde interrupts, “But what if I’m trying to turn the TV off
and it turns it on instead?”

Did you bear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their
car at the drive-in movie theatre?
They went to see ‘Closed for Winter’.

A blonde walks up to a coke machine in Vegas. She puts in some
quarters, out pops a coke, she puts is some more quarters. She
keeps doing this, time and time again. Eventually a man comes up
behind her and wants to use the machine. He waits patiently for
a while and then finally taps her on the shoulder. “Excuse me
Miss, can I use the machine?” The blonde turns around and says,
“Fuck off, can’t you see I’m winning?!”

One day a blond girl called the cops and said I am Going to kill
my self,so you better come stop me!She got the noose ready,the
cops came in and said…..If you are gonna kill your self you
have to put the noose around your neck.The blond replys,If I do
I cant breathe!

There is a dumb Blonde rowing a boat in the sand and just then a Blonde, who thinks she is smart, pulls up in her car next to the blonde and says, “You know, you are the type of dumb blonde who makes us smart blondes look dumb, and if I knew how to swim I would go out there and slap you in the face!”

one day a blone whent in to a hairdressers wearing headphones, she told the hairdresser to cut her hair. He said
“sure, can i take off your headphones?” She said
“NO NO NO just cut around them. so she had her hair cut.
The next month she whent into the Hairdressers wearing headphones and asked the hairdresser to cut her hair. He said
“sure but can i take off your headphones?” she again said
“NO NO NO just cut around them. So she had her hair cut.
The next month she whent into the hairdressers wearing headphones and asked the hairdresser to cut her hair. Unfortunatelly for her the hairdresser was new and forgot to ask if he was allowed to take off her headphones. So he took them off and she dropped dead on the floor. He picked up the headphones and put them to his own ears and listened. They were saying
“breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.”

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman:

“I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen”.

The surprised salesman replies: – “But madam, computers do not have curtains…”.

And the blonde said: – “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Q: What do you call two blondes in a freezerA: Frosted FlakesMeghan

A blonde buys two horses and she can’t tell them apart. So she asks the farmer next door what to do. He says to cut one of their tails off. So she does. But then the other horse’s tail gets caught in a bush and rips off. So she can’t tell them apart again. She asks the farmer for advice a second time. He tells her to cut one of the horses ears. So she does. But then the other horse gets its ear ripped in a barbed wire fence. She is still confused. She asks the farmer what to do. He tells her to measure them. She comes back and says, “The white horse is 2 inches taller than the black horse!”

Q: What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?A: A blonde parade.

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police
cruiser pulled her over.

The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde.

She asked for the blonde’s driver’s license.

The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, “What does a driver’s license look like?’

Irritated, the blonde cop said, “You dummy, it’s got your picture on it!”

The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom.

She held it up to her face and said, “Aha! This must be my driver’s license”, then handed it to the blonde policewoman.

The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, “You’re free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this.”