Category: blondes

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?

A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Because she forgot to take the tissue out of the box

What do you do when a blonde trowes a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and trow it back

A blonde had a near death experience when she went horseback
riding the other day. Everything was going fine until the horse
started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to
hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly
get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this
happened, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued
to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down.
Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the
Walmart manager happened to walk by and unplug the ride.

Her feet!

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?A: Pregnant.

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and died brown.

A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass.

Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she said to the shepherd, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?”

The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, “Of course.” The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, “352.”

This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandable, totally amazed and exclaimed, “You’re right! O.K., I’ll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock.”

The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.

When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, “O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?”

Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?A: Bobbing for french fries.

There was this blonde out in a conue in the middle of the feild paddeling. another blonde drives up and said it blondes like u who give us bad names. the blonde in the conoe says come say that to my face. but the blond in the car said if i could swim i would come out there and kick your butt !!!

A phone company puts an ad in the paper that they are recruiting workers. The next day, two groups of workers show up- a crew of five Italian men and a crew of five blonde women.

The company cannot decide who to give the job to, so they give them a test. The company boss says, “Each crew will receive a telephone pole that they must install into the ground. Whoever is able to hammer it in first, they will get the job.”

Both groups agree that this is a fair test, so off they go in the Company trucks with the long telephone poles sticking out the back.

A few hours pass, and finally, at 5:00, the Italian crew returns. “YAY!!” they shout. “We came back first, we get the job!!”

“Good work, men,” says the boss, “However, we must wait until the other crew comes back to make sure that the reason they’re delayed is not because of traffic, or that the truck broke down.”

“Fine, no problem,” say the men.

An hour passes, two hours pass, three hours. Finally, at 12:00, the Blonde crew arrive. All the group is flushed and breathing hard, as if they had just gone through harsh labor.

“What happened to you? What took so long?” asks the boss incredulously.

“What do you mean, ‘what took so long’?? Do we get the job?”

“YOU get the job? No way! The men were back here HOURS ago!”

“Well, of course they were,” say the blondes. “They only put the pole in halfway!!”

A blond got really drunk at a bar near his house. At the end of the night
he stumbled home, running into light poles and knocking over garbage cans.
When he got home and knocked on the door, his wife answered, “Is that you
John?” No answer. She asked again, “Is that you John?” Still no answer.

The next morning when she opened the door to go to work, she saw John
sleeping outside the house. She asked, “What are you doing sleeping out
here?!” John replied, “I knocked the door last night but you didn’t open
it.” She said, “But I asked and asked if it was you, but you didn’t
answer!” John replied helplessly, “But I nodded and nodded….”

Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? Because that’s where your supposed to wash vegetables.