Category: blondes

Why did the blonde think her French boyfriend was romantic?

Because he stuck a candle in her bellybutton and ate by candle
light.

Q: What’s the first thing a blonde does after sex?

A: Opens the car door.

What happens if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender “Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The BARTENDER is blond, the BOUNCER is blond and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb blond with a black belt in karate. “What?s more, the guy sitting next to me is 6’2,” weighs 225 lb and he’s a blond weight lifter,” he continues, “The fella to your right is blond, 6’5″ and pushing 300 lb and he’s a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind guy goes: “Nah! Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

Q: how do you drown a blond?

A: put a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.”Hey, girls,” says the brunette, “let’s go home early tomorrow. She’ll never know.” So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.”That was fun,” says the brunette.”We should do it again sometime.” “No way,” says the blonde.”I almost got caught.”

Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?

A1: So they don’t shit everywhere when you pull their tits.
A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don’t moo.

Q: Why aren’t blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can’t even keep two calves together!

Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant!

How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle?

Shine a torch in her ear.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

After you lay a brick it doen’t follow you around whining for
two weeks.

BLONDE’S FINAL EXAM at UCLA

The blonde reported for her University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.

She takes her seat in the examination
hall, stares at the question paper
for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out,
removes a coin and starts tossing the
coin and marking the answer sheet, Y for Heads and N for Tails.

Within half an hour she is all done
whereas the rest of the class is
sweating it out. During the last few
minutes, she is seen desperately
throwing the coin, swearing and
sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.

“I finished the exam in half an hour.
But,” she says, “I ‘m rechecking
my answers.”