Category: blondes

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”

Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?

A: More leg room.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pick it up, pull the pin and throw it back.

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. So she went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took him behind a tree.”I’ve kidnapped you!”, said the blonde and then proceeded to write a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and place it under the pecan tree next to the playground. Signed, A Blonde.” The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show his parents.The next morning the blonde checked under the tree and surely enough, a paper bad was sitting there. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?A: The vegetable garden.

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph. “Hey,”
asked the brunette at the wheel, �do yaw see any cops following us?”
The blonde turned around for a long look. “As a matter of fact, I do.”
“Damn!” cursed the brunette. “Are his flashers on?
The blonde turned around again. “Yup… nope… yup… nope… yup….”

Two blonde builders were working on a house. One blonde was on a ladder nailing. She’d reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, look at it, and either toss it over her shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.

The other blonde couldn’t stand it any longer and yelled up, “Why are you throwing some of the nails away?”

The first blonde explained, “When I pull it out of my nail pouch, if it’s pointed toward me I throw it away. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I can use it!”

The second blonde explained, “Don’t throw away those nails that are pointed toward you! They’re for the other side of the house!!”

3girls where partying at an illegal party when the cops came in they ran out the back door, the cops chased them into an alley,the 3 girls each hid in a seperate bag, the brown head was in the first bag and the officer kicked it she said meow and the officer said o its lust a cat, then he kicked the red heads bag and she said ruff and the officer said o its just a dog, the he kicked the blondes bag and she said potatoes!!

Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with
her pencil.

How Do You Sink a submarine full of blondes?

Knock on the door

She is still there

What’s the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.