Category: blondes

Three guys, a red head, a brunet, and a blond, are walking in the forest.
The red head is carrying a rifle, the brunet a bottle of oil and the blond
a bag of sand.

The brunet and the blond asks the red head, “Why are you carrying a
rifle?” The red head replies, “If a lion were to chase me, I would shoot
it.”

The red head and the blond ask the brunet, “Why are you carrying a bottle
of oil?” The brunet replies, “If a lion were to chase me, I would spill
the oil on the ground and it would slip and fall.”

The read head and the brunet asks the blond, “Why are you carrying a bag
of sand?” The blond replies, “If a lion were to chase me, I would drop the
bag of sand and I’d be able to run faster!”

John gets a call from his blonde girlfriend, Buffy. “I’ve got a
problem,” says Buffy. “What’s the matter?” asks John.

“Well, I’ve bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it’s too hard. None
of the pieces fit together and I can’t find any edges.”

“What’s the picture of?” asks John. “It’s of a big Rooster,”
replies Buffy. “All right,” says John, “I’ll come over and have
a look.”

So he goes over to Buffy’s house and Buffy greets him saying,
“thanks for coming over.” Buffy leads John into her kitchen and
shows him the jigsaw on the kitchen table. John looks at the
jigsaw and then turns to Buffy and says, “For Pete’s sake – put
the Cornflakes back in the Box.”

Question:
What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other?

Answer:
An air mattress.

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant

How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax? It has a stamp on it.

After a boring day at home, the blonde wife decides to go to the mall. After getting out of the house, she realizes that her husband doesn’t have a key because she napped the day before. Her husband comes home and there is a note on the door that reads:”Hey honey! I’ve gone out and remembered that you didn’t have a key to get it. Don’t worry, I left it under the mat for you.”

WHAT”S UP

I once knew a blonde who sold her car for gas money.

A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

“What’s up?” he says.

“I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted is hiding in your wardrobe and he’s got no clothes on!”

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.

“You bastard,” says the husband, “my wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!”

A dumb blonde was bragging about his knowledge of the state capitals.He proudly said,”go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.”A redhead said, “OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?”The blonde replied, “That’s easy – ‘W’.”

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?”You can change those things?!”

Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?
A: Wishful Thinking.

Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don’t lend the Porsche out to your friend.

Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.