Category: blondes

there was a blonde a brown and a red head they tried to get into the army but the army said no so they went in army bag but they got caught so the army hung them up on the wall the army said they were going to shoot them so the red said volcano volcano and she ran away then the brown said earth quake earth quake and she got away so the blonde said fire fire so they shot her

A blonde is trying to sell her car, but with no luck, for her
car has been through 100,000 Miles. One day a passing brunnete
helps her. She says, “If you really want to sell your car” she
says, handing the blonde a piece of paper “Then go to this
address, it’s a car repair shop. Tell the guy I sent you and get
him to turn the miles on your car back to 50,000 miles. That
should make it easier to sell.”

Well, a week after that, the brunnete saw the blonde driving in
the same car. “Didn’t you sell the car?” she asked the blonde.
She replied, “Why should I? The car only has 50,000 miles on it.”

How does a blonde part their hair? By doing the splits.

A fellow was siting at a bar drinking when a gorgeous blond came in and sat next to him.

After starting talking and a few drinks together, the fellow says to her: ” How about playing the Magician Game ?”

“And what would that be ?”

“We go to my place, have a few drinks, get into bed, have sex and then you……disappear”.

Why don’t blondes wear miniskirts in San Francisco?
Because their balls hang out!

three blond men came to a river and wanted to cross it to get to
the other side. the first man prayed to god and said “please god
make me smarter so i may cross the river” god gives him
sandy-blond hair and he swims across. the second man prays
“please god make me smarter than him so i may also cross the
river” god gives him brown hair and he builds a raft and floats
across. the third man prays “please make me smarter than them so
i may cross the river”. god turns him into a woman and he walks
across the bridge.

Did you hear about the blonde that
wanted to trade in her menstrual cycle for a Honda.

There is a blond a brunette and a redhead and they get shipwrecked and are all stranded on a desert island. the brunetee is trying to think of a way to get back to land while the redhead gets food and the blond digs in the sand. Suddenly the blond cries out “come look, come look” so the brunette and the redhead come over to see what the blond has found, it turns out to be a magic lamp so they rub the lamp and a genie comes out and says “i will grant you 3 wishes” so the redhead says “I wish i was back with my family” POOF she is back with her family. the brunette says the same, POOF she is back with her family and the blond says “sure is lonely without those guys i wish they were back here” POOF, POOF, thy are all stranded on a desert island.

Q: What’s the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?

A: The prostitute says, “Aren’t you done yet?”
The nympho says, “Are you done already?”
The blonde says, “Beige. . . I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige.”

A local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job.After a series of questions that the blonde failed, the sheriff asked in desperation one final question:”Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?”The blonde looked a little surprised, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted:”I don’t know!””Well, why don’t you go home and work on that one for a while?”So, the blonde wandered over to a restaurant where some friends were waiting to hear the results of the interview.The blonde couldn’t be happier.”It’s my first day on the job, and it went great.””I’m already working on a murder case!”

A blonde and a brunette were watching the 11:00 news. The current news story
was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump. The station cuts to a
commercial.
Brunette: I bet you $20 he’s going to jump.
Blonde: OK.
(back to newscast)
He jumps.
Blonde: OK. Here’s my $20.
Brunette: No, that was too easy. I can’t take it.
Blonde: I insist. I lost.
Brunette: I have a confession to make. I saw the same story on the 6:00 news
and knew he jumped. So it wasn’t really a fair bet.
Blonde: I know. I saw the same newscast. But I didn’t think he would be stupid enough to jump
twice.

Santa Claus, the President of the United States, and smart blonde all fall off a roof. Which one hits the ground first?

The President. The other two don’t exist.