Q: Whets the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don’t lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Category: blondes
Casino
A Blonde works at a supemarket where she one day discovered a Vending machine, now she didnt know what it was and it looked so interesting she wanted to try it out. Now on the vending machine it said “ENTER 50 CENTS”
So she did so, and pressed about all the buttons and a coke came out, she was so amazed she continued putting 50 cents in it, until a guy behind her (after 5-10 min. of waiting) said “Excuse me but there are other people who would like to use the machine too” So she turned around looked at him in a mad/blank face and said “Jeeze are you that dumb cant you see I am winning”
There’s white-out on the screen.
Q. How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
A. There’s white-out on the screen.
Paralyzing Disease
What’s the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
A: Marriage.
Locked car
there were two blondies at a gas station and locked their car with the hood open so when they went out to put their chips in the car. They tried to open the door, but it was stuck.
the 2nd blonde said “try busting the door open””
the 1st blonde said “”nah i dont want to smudge the paint on the car.
so the 2nd blonde suggested “”ask the cop over there””
so the 1st blonde asked him and the cop said “”sure why not””.
the cop says to both of the blondes “” the hood is open and the windows are down””
the blondes say “” WE KNOW! we just want to get the car unlocked”” so The cop Just Leaves And everyone looks at them like they are stupid. so they never figured how to open the car door everagain
“
The Blond and the Brunette.
There was a Blond and a Brunette on an airplane.
All of a sudden the engine blew and they started to crash!
There was only one parachute and a flashlight.
The Brunette grabbed the parachute and the flashlight and said to the blond, “Ok, This is a magic flashlight, I will shine it on the ground and you can slide down the beam of light! Then I will follow you with the parachute.”
The blond looked at her sceptically and said, “Do you think I am that dumb? I know when I am halfway down you’re gonna turn it off!”
Deer Tracks
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said “Oh, look at the deer tracks.”
The other blonde looks and says “Those aren’t deer tracks, those are wolf tracks.”
“No. Those are deer tracks.”
They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Toes Go In First.
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Concentrate
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Peroxide
Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.
Desert Island
A blonde was stranded on a desert island so she swims half way back to the main land gets tired so she turns around and swims back.
Blonde quickies 2
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they’re on their back.
Q: How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
A: There’s white-out on the screen.
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don’t know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn’t like it ‘cos she couldn’t get channel 9….
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.