Category: blondes

Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Cause it said concentrate.

A blonde, a brunette, and a man are driving in their pick-up truck. The brunette was sitting up front with the man and the blonde was in the back. While driving across a bridge the man lost control of the truck and drove over the side of the bridge. After the truck had sunk, the man and brunette fought their way out of the cab and surfaced. A couple of minutes later the blonde came out of the water, panting and breathless. ”Where have you been?” asked the man. ”I can’t believe you left me down there! I couldn’t get the tailgate open!”

BLONDE: “Excuse me, what time is it right now?”WOMAN: “It’s 11:25PM.”BLONDE: (confused look on face) “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I’ve asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer.”

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?

A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

A blonde & brunette are in an elevator. On the third floor a man gets on who’s perfect; 3-piece suit, great build with a nice butt.

Unfortunately, they both noticed, he had really bad dandruff.

The man got off on the 5th floor. Once the doors closed the brunette turned to the blonde and said, “Someone should give him ‘Head & Shoulders.'”

To which the blonde replied, “How do you give ‘Shoulders’?”

Q. What is the fastest way to get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A. Wave at her.

A NEW SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY SHOWS THAT BLONDES ONLY HAVE 5% INTELLIGENCE

WHICH IS SPAT OUT AFTER A FEW SECONDS THE BRUNETTES HAVE 75% INTELLIGENCE AS THEY SWALLOW

What is the diference between a blonde and a rooster?A rooster says cockle-doodle-doo A blonde says any-cockle-doo

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde robbed a supermarket. As they were stealing, a police officer walked in the store and saw what was happening. He dashed toward them, but they were able to get away into the back of the store. There they found three sacks to hide in. When the police officer checked there, he examined each sack.He kicks the first bag, and the redhead says “meow” in a high voice. The cop determines that it must only be a cat in that bag, and he moves on to the next.When he kicks the second bag, the brunette says “woof” in a low voice. The officer determines that it must only be a dog in that bag, so he moves on to the last bag.He kicks the third bag, and the blonde shouts “potato” to the officer.

Two blondes are walking in the forest.
One looks down and says, “Look, deer tracks”.

The other blonde looks down and says, “Those aren’t deer tracks, those are bear tracks”.

Half an hour later they were still arguing, when the train hit them.

He was so blonde that…

• he spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate”
• he thought 2Pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday
• if you gave him a penny for intelligence, you’d get change back
• under “education” on his job application, he put “Hooked On Phonics”
• it takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes
• he studied for a blood test – and failed
• he thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center
• he sold the car for gas money
• when he saw the “NC-17” (under 17 not admitted), he went home and got16 friends
• he thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Phone Company
• when he was on the highway going to the airport and saw a sign that said “Airport Left”, he turned around and went home

A Blonde works at a supemarket where she one day discovered a Vending machine, now she didnt know what it was and it looked so interesting she wanted to try it out. Now on the vending machine it said “ENTER 50 CENTS”
So she did so, and pressed about all the buttons and a coke came out, she was so amazed she continued putting 50 cents in it, until a guy behind her (after 5-10 min. of waiting) said “Excuse me but there are other people who would like to use the machine too” So she turned around looked at him in a mad/blank face and said “Jeeze are you that dumb cant you see I am winning”