Category: blondes

There was this blonde applying for a job and saw a sign that said needed for paint job, Come here. So she went to the house and knocked on the door.
She said,I’m here for the paint job;and the guy said,Ok.Here’s the paint I want you to paint the porch.

She said, No Problem, and set off to work. She finished the first coating and decided because it didn’t take very long she would give it a second coat.

She finished the second and knocked on the door. She said, I gave it two coats and oh,by the way, It’s not a porsche, It’s a ferrarie.

Three blond men are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don’tknow how to get across. The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across. The second man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across. Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.

Airport Security alerted an airline crew to keep an eye a blonde passenger who appeared excessively nervous and shifty-eyed. Soon after takeoff, the blonde man called a stewardess to his seat and said, “I have a live grenade in my pocket. I’ll blow up the plane if you do not divert to Cairo.”Perplexed, the stewardess said, “But, sir. This is TWA flight 1219 to Cairo.””Damn!” replied the blonde passenger, “I got on the wrong plane.”

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?A: An interpreter.

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. ‘So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?’

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, ‘Ehhhh .. 22!’

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. ‘And can you tell us your height, please?’

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, ‘Five foot two!’

This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. ‘And uhh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?’

The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, ‘Mandy!’

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, ‘Just out of curiosity, Miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?’

‘Ohh that!’, replies the blonde, ‘That’s just me running through ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you….”

There once was a magic Mirror and if you told it a lie you would disappear. So A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde tried it out.

The Brunette goes up and says, ” I have the best lookin eyes in the world” And POOF. She disappeared.

The Redhead went up and said, ” I have the best legs in the world” And POOF. She disappeared.

Finally the Blonde went up and said, ” I think…” And POOF. She disappeared.

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

Wave to her.

Q: What do you call 20 blondes standing in a strait line?
A: A wind tunnel

Why did the blonde climb the glass wall??To see what was on the other side

Did you hear about the smart blonde? You won’t either.

two blondes driving to the airport
and the sign says airport left
so they turned round and went back home again!!

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and the Suez/Panama Canal?

A: One’s a busy ditch.