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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn’t.
The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, “Hurry up! It’s starting to rain and the top is down.”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
By throwing it off a cliff.
The blonde says to her friend, “My boyfriend has the worst dandruff.”
Her friend says, “You should give him Head and Shoulders.”
The blonde thinks for a minute and replies, “how do you give shoulders?”
What do you call a blonde with one braincell?Answer: LuckyWhat do you call a blonde with two braincells?Answer: PregnantSubmitted by: Bertha
what do you call three blondes under a christmas tree?…ho ho ho
A blonde was about to commit suicide by jumping off a 31 story building.
There were tons of fire trucks on the ground and policemen on the ledge beside her. The policemen tried to coax her down for 3 hours.
A few minutes later the blonde looked over the edge, then looked over at the closest policemen and asked, ”How do you commit suicide again?”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a
747.
A blonde was walking down the street with her blouse wide open. The police
goes over and tell her” excuse me do you know your blouse is open. The blonde
screams “OH MY GOD I LEFT MY BABY ON THE BUS.”
Passing an office building late one night, a blonde saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman.”
She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.
The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.
“Well,” he snarled at the blonde, “what do you want?”
“I just want to know why you can’t ring the bell for yourself?”
A blonde, brunette, and a red head were driving in a car and ran a stop sign. A police officer seen them and immediately started chasing them. The girls ran from the police and when they got a long wayz away from the police they saw 3 potato sacks on the side of the road. They all got out and each got in a potato sack. When the cops came and they seen the empty car and the three potato sacks, they went over and kicked each one. The first one they kicked was the brunette and she said ruff ruff. The cops thought it was a bag of puppies and went to the next bag. This was the red head and when they kicked this one she said meow. They thought it was just a bag of kittens and went to the next bag. This was the blonde and when they kicked the bag she said potato!!!
2 blondes walk in to a building you thought one of them might have notice it
A blonde walks into a bar and has a few drinks. Right before she
goes into the bathroom she puts a cigarette behind her right
ear. Five minutes later she goes back to her seat at the bar and
the bartender asks, “Why do you have a tampon behind your right
ear?” The blonde exclaims, “TAMPON?!?!?! then where did my
cigarette go?”