Q. What do you call a Blonde with pig tails?
A. A blowjob with handlebars.
Q. What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Author: admin
Battered Fish
Q.Do you know what happened to the fish that was taking a stroll through the Bronx?
A.He got Battered
Tiger Woods vs. Stevie Wonder!
At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.
Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he’s too polite to say anything.
“When I tee off, ” the singer explains, “I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim.”
Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they play a round.
When Tiger agrees, Stevie asks, “How about if we play for $100,000?”
Tiger insists he couldn’t possibly play him for money because of his sight handicap.
But Stevie argues and badgers Tiger until Tiger finally relents and says, “OK, it’s your money… when do you want to play?”
Stevie replies, “I’ll play on any NIGHT you choose!”
Your Grandna
Your grandna so old her socailsecuity number is one
Snowstorm
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blond got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation.
She finally remembered her daddy’s advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift. That made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it.
As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problems with the blizzard conditions. After quite sometime had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snowplow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll her window down.
The driver wanted to know if she was alright as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy’s advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.
The driver said that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with the Walmart parking lot and was going over to K-mart next.
Yo Mama Road Sign
Yo’ mama so dumb, she waited at a STOP sign until it said GO!
BRUNETTE
Q. WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE STANDING ON HER HEAD? A. A BRUNETTE WITH BAD BREATH.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better…
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner
Never Lend Money
A husband leaves the house to go pick up dinner for he and his wife. Shortly after leaving, the doorbell rings.
It is her husbands best friend and she invites him in. Since she is in her bathrobe the man says to her “you have the nicest breasts”. She says “thanks but my husband would be mad if he heard you”.
He replies “I would pay you $10 just to see one of them”. She thinks for a minute and decides to do it.
He says “Wow that is the most perfect breast I ever saw….I will give you another $10 if you show me both at the same time”.
She does it, and he gives her the money. The friend leaves and her husband comes home. She says “your best friend just stopped by”. He answers “Great did he leave the $20 he owed me”
Just How stupid is Jordan Ferraira?
If you went up to the smartest man on the face of the earth when it comes to math and asked him: How many brains does Jordan Ferraira have?
he’d only be able to answer like this: No one knows that!!!!! Hes way to stupid! you cant cont that low its, Its just not possible its less than -999,999,999,999,999,999,999!!!
Dennis rodman and bizkit
Limp Bizkit and Dennis Rodman are on a sinking ship. Who gets saved?
The music world and the NBA…
Four Kids
There were once four kids, Poop, Shut Up, Manners, and Trouble.
Poop was riding his bike and fell. Manners went to help him up. Trouble got lost. Shut Up goes to the Police Station.
Officer: What’s your name? Shut Up: Shut Up.
Officer: What’s your name? Shut Up: Shut Up.
Officer: For the last time, WHAT’S YOUR NAME?! Shut Up: Shut Up!
Officer: Are you looking for Trouble? Shut Up: Ya, we lost him about 2 miles back.
Officer: Where’s your Manners? Shut Up: Back there pickin’ up Poop.