Tennis Balls

One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk.

Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.

Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blond standing next to him smiling.

“What do you have in your pocket?” she asked.

“Tennis ball,” the man said smiling back.

“Wow,” said the blonde looking upset. “That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable!”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

“Fly eh? Ha! My foot!”

A woman is out looking for a pet, and so she’s trying the local pet shops. She
walks into a small pet shop and explains her need to the attendant. He thinks
for a moment and then says, “I’ve got just the thing for you madam. I’ll just
get him.”

With that, he disappears into the back of the shop, and returns a few seconds
later with a cute little puppy. “This dog is a special dog,” he tells her. “It
is able to fly,” he explains, and with that throws the dog into the air. It
immediately begins to float gracefully around the shop.

“There is one problem with him, however. Whenever you say ‘my’, he’ll eat
whatever you’ve mentioned. Watch. “My apple!” The lady watches in astonishment
as the dog zooms over to the shop attendant and furiously devours an apple he
has produced from his pocket.

“He’s cute, and so unusual. I’ll take him,” she says, and a few minutes later
she is on her way back home with dog to show her husband.

“Darling, look what a clever pet I bought today!” she exclaims when she gets
back home. “He can fly!”

The husband peers at the dog, and then remarks, “Fly eh? Ha! My foot!”

Say 55

A guy went to the doctor because he was concerned about his sexuality.

Patient: “Doctor, I’m worried, I think I may be gay.”

Doctor: “Well, take off your pants and we’ll run a couple of tests.”

The man does so and the doctor grabs his penis.

Doctor: “Say ’55.'”

Patient: “55.”

The doctor then grabs his balls.

Doctor: “Say ’55.'”

Patient: “55.”

Doctor: Now, turn around and bend over.

The patient does so, and the doctor sticks his finger up his ass.

Doctor: “Say ’55.'”

Patient: “1…..2……3…..”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman