Author: admin

An Indian gentleman on his first visit to the USA visited the foreign
exchange
to exchange some Rupees. He handed to the cashier 100,000Rps and after a quick
calculation on the calculator, was given $50.45 with a typical “service”
smile and “Have a nice day!”

The Indian promptly spent this and returned the next day with another wad
of Rupees. He handed the same cashier 100,000Rps and put his hand out for
his $50.45, instead he received $48.78.

He questiond bitterly Ooh! vy less !!??”

Whereupon the cashier replied “Fluctuations!”
He screamed back “FLUCK YOU AMERICANS, TOO!”
I’m going back to Delhi!!!

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young
newlywed couple wanted to join a church.

The pastor says, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.”

All the couples agreed and then came back at the end of the two weeks.

The pastor goes to the elderly couple and asks, “Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The old man replies, “No problem at all! Pastor.”
“Congratulations! Welcome to the church!”

The pastor then goes to the middle aged couple and asks, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The man replied, “The first week was not too bad but the second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it.”
“Congratulations! Welcome to the church,” said the pastor.

The pastor finally goes to the young newlywed couple and asks, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?”

” No, pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,” the young man replied.

“What happened?” asked the pastor.

“My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took advantage of her right there.”

“You understand of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church,” admonished the pastor.

“That’s OK,” said the young man, “We’re not welcome at Safeway (grocery store) either!”

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, “My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50.”

The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100.”

The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”

A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor
traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless
hour for his case to be heard.

When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge,
only to hear that court would be adjourned for the next day and he would have to
return the next day.

‘What for?’ he snapped at the judge.

His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared, ‘Twenty
dollars contempt of court. That’s why!’

Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented. ‘That’s all
right. You don’t have to pay now.’

The young man replied, ‘I’m just seeing if I have enough for two more words.’