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A blonde walks into a doctors office with a gunshot wound in her hand.
The doctor asks, “How did this happen?”
She replies, “Well, I was trying to commit suicide. I stuck the gun to my head and then…just before I pulled the trigger… I thought, this is going to be loud. So I covered my other ear before pulling the trigger”
What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
An Italian suppository.
Why was the blonde buried in a y shaped coffin?
Because every time she lay down she spread her legs
A BLONDE AND A BRUNETTE JUMP OFF A CLIFF AT THE SAME TIME, WHICH ONE HITS THE FLOOR FIRST?
THE BRUNETTE , BECAUSE THE BLONDE HAS TO STOP TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS
What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
A blonde and a red head were walking along a path in a park. The red head turns to the blonde and says, ” poor thing look at the dog with one eye.”
The blonde covers one of her eyes and says “where?”
A blonde with two red ears went to the doctor.
She explained: ‘I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang. Instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it on my ear.’
‘Oh Dear!’ exclaimed the doctor in horror. ‘But … what happened to your other ear?’
‘The jerk called back.’
Q. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A. To see what was on the other side.
There once was a little bread shop not too far from a school. An
extremely voluptuous, beautiful, long-legged blonde girl, who
always wore very short skirts, worked behind the counter. One
day after school, a boy stopped in at the little bread shop to
get some raisin bread for his mother. The raisin bread was kept
on the top shelf behind the counter, so the blonde girl had to
climb a ladder to get at it. When the young boy looked up, he
was thrilled and amazed at the sight of the blonde girl in her
short skirt.
He told all his friends at school the next day. From then on,
everyday after school, the boys would stop in at the little
bread shop and order a loaf of raisin bread, one at a time. This
soon became a daily occurrence.
One afternoon, while the blonde girl was perched on the ladder
awaiting the arrival of the young boys, an elderly man walked
into the little bread shop. Because she had her back turned to
the store’s entrance, she assumed it was boys who had arrived
for their raisin bread. Without glancing over her shoulder, the
unaware blonde girl reached for the bread and said, “It’s
raisin, right?” The old geezer stared in amazement at the sight
of the blonde girl perched on the ladder, who didn’t appear to
be wearing any panties. As he adjusted his pant leg, he replied,
“Raisin? no, but it’s definitely twitchin’.”
I know a blonde that was so stupid that when she went to the airport, she saw a sign that siad “airport left” and went home.
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”