Category: blondes

Q: Why do blondes use tampons with extra long strings?
A: So the crabs can go bungee-jumping.

2 blondes walk into a building you thought one of them would of seen it

A young couple, married just a couple of weeks, returns from
their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives. The
next morning the husband wakes up, showers, dresses and makes
his way to the kitchen where he sees his new blonde wife crying.

So the husband inquires, “What’s wrong, Honey?”

“Well, I came down here this morning to surprise you with a big
breakfast, but I can’t cook or clean.”

The husband smiles his biggest smile and says, “There, there
sweetie! I don’t care that you can’t cook and clean. Come on up
to the bedroom and I’ll show you what I’d like for breakfast.”

So off they went to the bedroom.

That afternoon, the husband comes home for lunch to find his new
wife crying again in the kitchen. “What’s wrong now, Sweetie?”

“Well, the same thing as this morning. I came in here to make
you something for lunch and I just can’t cook.”

Again the husband smiles and says, “Why don’t you come back up
to the bedroom and I’ll have my lunch there!”

So off they went to the bedroom again.

That evening the new husband comes home, walks in the house and
sees his new bride naked sliding down the banister of the
stairs. Up she runs, and WHOOSH down the banister.

After the third trip the husband asks, “What are you doing,
Honey?”

“Warming up your supper!” she replies.

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?

A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.

There are a bunch of blondes and one brunette. They all decide
to go mountin cimbing one Saturday afternoon. So they go and
they are almost to the top when the rope starts to fray. They
all decide that one person has to jump off. The brunette
decides that she wants to be the one to jump. She gives a great
speech about why she wants to be the one to sacrafice her life
for the blondes, when all of the sudden, the blondes clap.

What does a blonde do to her asshole before she has sex?

Drops him off at work…

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing

why are blondes so dumb?
they are not every one else is really dumb

A cop was driving over town! He saw a red Benz zizzaging every which way on the street.
The cop did his duty. When he drove up next to the car, he saw a drop dead gorgeous blonde, sewing in the car. “Pullover”, he shouted.
“No, replied the blonde “a pair of socks!

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says “Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to start it.”

Her friend asks “What’s the puzzle supposed to look like?”
The blonde says “From the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

So, the blonde’s friend figures that he’s pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to the table where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a minute, then studies the box. He then turns to her and says:

“First, no matter what I do, I’m not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.”

“Second, I’d advise you to have a cup of coffee and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box!”

Why doesn’t a blonde talk during sex? Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers.

A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city.
Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?”

“Not really,” the blonde replied. “I’m nauseous from sitting backward on the train.”

“Poor dear,” Mom said. “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?”

“I couldn’t,” she replied, “there was no one there.”