Category: blondes

A blonde walked into a bar.

A blonde and her boyfriend decide to go to the movies.

During the previews, she asks her boyfriend to get her some M&Ms.

“Okay sure. I’ll be right back.”

When he gets her the candy, she immediatly opens the bag and picks out all the brown ones. Then she throws them away.

“Why did you do that?” asked the boyfriend.

She replies “Because I’m allergic to chocolate.”

How do you plant dope?

Bury a blonde.

one day a blonde went into the doctors office. when the doctor came in he asked “so, whats the problem.” Then the blonde said to the doctor, “well, everywhere i touch it hurts.” then the doctor started poking her knee asking if it hurt, amazingly the blonde said “no.” then the doctor started patting her back, asking if that hurt. Still the blonde said no. finally the doctor said, “well, i think i know what the problem is.” the blonde asked, “what, what is it!!” the doctor then tapped her finger, and the blonde started screaming hysterically, and the doctor said, “your finger is broken.”

one day, two blondes were walking down the sidewalk when one of the blondes saw a compact mirror sitting on the ground. she picke up the mirror, looked into it and said to the second blonde,”hey this person looks familiar!” the second blonde said “let me see” and she took the mirror and said to the first blonde “you dummy its me!!”

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.”Help, help!” yells one of the blondes.”Help us, help us!” yells the other.”Maybe it would help if we yelled together,” said the first blonde.”Good idea,” said the other.”Together, together!”

Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest.Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn’t happen the rope would break and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.The blondes applauded.

A blonde walks in to an appliance store and says to the sales man Hi i would like to buy that Tv!
He Replies I’m sorry but i don’t sell to blondes!

So she goes out and dyes her hair brown and then goes back to the store and says to the sales man Hi i would like to buy that Tv Please,

He says to her I’m sorry but i dont sell to blondes,

She looks at him and asks “how did you know that i was blonde?

He says because thats a microwave!

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What does the left leg of a nymphomaniac say to her right leg?

Nothing, they have never met.

how do you confuse a blonde?

put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in a corner.

how does a blonde confuse you?

she shows you the corner she peed in

Q: How do you drown a blonde?

A: Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.