Category: blondes

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?

She heard the drinks were on the house.

A blonde bombshell walks into the airplane and sits in 1st Class and the stewardess asks her for her ticket…
The stewardess tells her that she only has a coach ticket. The blonde says, “I’m a cute looking blonde and I’m flying first class.”
The stewardess replies that she only has a coach seat to Atlanta….
The blonde then retorts, “I’m a cute blonde and I’m flying first class”.
Just then the captain happened by and asked what was happening….
The blonde tells him, “I’m a cute blonde and I’m flying first class….
The captain whispers in her ear…and the blonde gets up and jumps into a seat in the coach cabin…
The stewardess asks the captain what he said to get her to move so fast..
He replied, “I told her that 1st class is not going to Atlanta.”

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A: An ironing board’s legs are harder to get open.

how do you drown a dumb blobde?
put a scrach-n-sniff sticker on the bottom of a swimming pool.

A blonde goes horse back riding. It starts out slow, but then it starts to gallop. The blonde is enjoying herself. All of a sudden she slips off and her foot gets caught in the reins. The horse doesn’t stop and the blonde is still being dragged upside down. She doesn’t know what to do. Finally the Wal-Mart manager comes and unplugs it.

Q: why did the blonde take a long shower?
A: Because on the shampoo bottle it said wet hair, lather, rinse and repeat

Q: Why don’t blondes eat bananas?
A1: They can’t find the zipper.
A2: They can�t find the pull tab.

Mary Simpson was almost crazy with her three kids. She complained to her best friend, “They’re driving me nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest and I’m half-way to the nut hatch.”

“What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself,” her friend said.

So Mary bought a playpen. A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were going.

“Superb! I can’t believe it,” Mary said. “I get in that pen with a good book and the kids don’t bother me one bit!”

By the way – Mary is blonde.

A blonde and a brunette were taking the elevator to the lobby from the 25th floor. On the 23rd floor, a great looking man with ruffled hair gets into the elevator. The women exchange a look acknowledging just how good looking this man is.The man gets off the elevator on the 12th floor. The women watch him exit the elevator. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, “God was he good looking, but someone ought to give him some Head & Shoulders.”To which the blonde replies, “How do you give Shoulders?”

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?A: For throwing out the W’s.

once their was this blonde with huge size 50 brasts. next to her
was this little ugly man. the man pulled out a 100 dallor bill
and asked if her could stick his dick up her pussy. the blonde
excepted.
the little man and the blonde go to the bathroom and have sex.
after the sex the blonde asks if the man has AIDS and the man
replies “no” so the blondes gasps and says “good , i wouldnt
want to catch that again.

There were three blondes living together.Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, “Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?”So, she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. With her hair still dry, she said to herself, “Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub?” She stood there, just thinking about it.Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, “Knock on wood I’m not as stupid as the other two!” She knocked the table and sat there puzzled: “Was that the front door or the back door?