Category: blondes

Why does barbie cost more then all her friends?because they use the most plastic surgeory on her!lol

A blonde,black and red were running from the police so they hid in potato sacks the policeman kicked the first bag with the black in it and she said “meow” only a cat said the policeman he kicked the second bag with the red in it and she said “woff” only a
dog then he kicked the last bag with the blonde in it and she said “potatoes”!

There are three women, one is a blonde one is a brunet and one is a red head. They are all on execution.The guard brings the brunet up to the executioner. He askes do you have any last words? She says No.Then the executioner shouts ready…aim… EARTHQUAKE!screams the brunet, everyone looks around and she ecscapes. Then the angry guard gets the red head. The executioner askes her the same thing.She says No then the executioner yells ready…aim…and then the red head shouts TORNADO!Everyone looks around and she escapes too. By then the blonde understands why the two other women were screaming. Then the executioner asks the same question and she also says No then he yells ready…aim…and the blonde yells FIRE!

A blonde and a brunette are taking a walk, and the burnette goes, “Oh look, a dead bird,” and the blonde looks up at the sky and goes, “Where?”

Who Says a “Blonde” is Stupid? When she took me to the airport and saw a sign that said, “Airport left”, she turned around and went home. She has one toe, and bought a pair of flip flops. She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. She got stabbed in a shoot-out. She told me to meet her at the corner of “Walk” and “Don’t Walk”. When the computer said “Press any key to continue”, she couldn’t find the “Any” key. She thought 2Pac Shakur was a Jewish Holiday. When I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said, “Cherry or Grape?” She sat on the TV and watched the couch. She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She was on the corner giving out potato chips, yelling, “Free Lays!”. She tried to drown her goldfish. She thought a quarterback was a refund. She got locked in a grocery store and nearly starved to death. If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you’d get change. They had to burn down the school to get her out of third grade. She took a spoon to the Super Bowl. Under “Education” on her job application, she puts “Hooked on Phonics.” She thinks socialism means partying. She tripped over a cordless phone. She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. At the bottom of application forms where it says “Sign Here”, she puts “Sagittarius”. She asked for a price check at the dollar store. If she spoke her mind, she’d be speechless. She stands up on an empty bus. She studied for a blood test and failed. She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center. She thought Hamburger Helper came with another person. She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats. She thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. She invented a solar powered flashlight. She sold the car for gas money. When she saw the “NC-17” (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home to get 16 friends. When she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. She went to Dr. Dre for a pap smear. She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill. She ordered a cheeseburger from McDonald’s and said, “Hold the cheese”. When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead. She peels M&Ms to make chocolate chip cookies. She got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor. When she got to the empty 4-way stop, she waited for the other 3 cars to get there.

A RED,BLOND,AND A BRUEET WHERE TAKEN HOSTAGE BYE BANK ROBBERS AND WERE ASKED IF THEY HAD ANY LAST WORDS. THE RED HEAD SAID TWISTER AND THE ROBBERS DUCK AND SHE GOT AWAY. THE BRUNEET SAID FLOOD THEY DUCK AND SHE GOT AWAY. THEY GO UP TO THE BLOND AND PUT HER AT GUN PUT AND THEY ASK HER IF SHE HAS ANY LAST WORDS AND SHE SAYS FIRE.

How do you keep a blonde busy?
Put her in a room the shape of a circle and tell her to find the corner!

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.

The firemen yell to the Brunette, “Jump! Jump! It’s your only chance to survive!”

The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away…the
Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

“C’mon! Jump! You gotta jump!’ say the firemen to the Redhead.

“Oh no! You’re gonna pull the blanket away!” says the Redhead.

“No! It’s Brunettes we can’t stand! We’re OK with Redheads!”

“OK” says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell “Jump! You have to jump!”

“No way! You’re just gonna pull the blanket away!” yelled the Blonde.

“No! Really! You have to jump! We won’t pull the blanket away!”

“Look,” the Blonde says, “nothing you say is gonna convince me that you’re not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it . . .”

these three girl a red head , blonde, and brunette where runing from the cops they all went and hide in potatoe sack so the cops come over and kick the red heads potatoe sack she says meaw….ohh its just a cat the two officers say then they kick the brunettes sack she says rooh…. oh its just a dog the two officers say then they kick the blondes sack she says potatoes potatoes the two officers say i think we have a winner

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says “Please come over and help
me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to start it.”
Her friend asks “What is it a puzzle of?”

The blonde says “From the picture on the box, it’s a
Tiger.”

The blonde’s friend figures that he’s pretty good at
Puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him
to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, and then studies the box.

He then turns to her and says: “First, no matter what I do,I’m not going to be
able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.
Second, I’d advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put all these
Kellogg�s Frosted Flakes back in the box.”Blondes Love Hunters.

Why did the blonde cross the road?I don’t know.Neither did he.

What do you get when you put two blondes in the freezer?Frosted flakes.