A blonde puts a canoe in the middle of a field and starts rowing. A car pulls up and a blonde gets out and says” you give blondes a bad name and if I could swim out there I would kick your ass”.
Category: blondes
How to keep a blonde busy
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Have a doggie bag
Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Wash Hair In Sink
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that’s where you’re supposed to wash vegetables!
Raro juice from sachets
Why don’t blondes like making Raro juice from sachets?
Because they can’t fit eight cups of water in the packet.
The blonde and the turtles
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde all died on the same day and they all went to heaven. But god said that he has many turtles on the floor of heaven and that if you stepped on one that you would be paired with a really ugly guy. The brunette went first and stepped on a turtle. The redhead went next and stepped on a turtle. The blonde went next she didnt step on a turtle. She was paired with a hot guy. The brunette and the redhead asked the blonde how she got a cute guy and the guy said I stepped on a turtle!
What’s the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.
Ransom
A blonde waits outside a school when all the kids come out she grabs a child around the corner and writes a note saying ‘Ive kidnapped your kid i will only give him back if you give me 3million dollars Ransom leave it under the tree in the park tomorrow signed A Blonde.She sticks the note on the child and sends him home.The next morning The kid was standing under the tree with 3million dollars and a note the note said. There is the money now please dont hurt my child How could you do this to a fellow blonde
Blond coffen
Q:Why is a blonds coffen shaped like a Y?
A: because every time she hits her back her legs spered.
The Y2K Blonde!
Blonde secretary’s memo to her boss:
TO: My Boss
FROM: Blondie
SUBJECT: Changing Calendars For Y2K
I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all the company calendars for you. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months:
Januark
Februark
Mak
Julk
I also changed all the days of each week to:
Sundak
Mondak
Tuesdak
Wednesdak
Thursdak
Fridak
Saturdak
We are now Y to K compliant.
Your loyal secretary!
The Magic Mirror…..
There is a blonde a brunette and a redhead and a magic mirror. If you told something true to the magic mirror, you would be rewarded. If you told a lie you would vanish forever.
The brunette walks up to the mirror and says, “I am good at teaching.” And she was rewarded.
The redhead walks up to the mirror and says,”I am good at math.” And she was rewarded.
The blonde walked up to the mirror and said,”Hmmmmm let me think….”
Poof! She vanished!
Telling a Blonde Joke in a Bar
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.”
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5″ pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”