Category: blondes

A bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a beautiful blonde woman walked in and took a seat at the bar. She ordered up a Coors and sat there drinking for a while. Suddenly, the woman passed out cold on the stool. The bartender had a sudden thought, and so he cautiously looked around. Seeing that no one was around, he closed up the bar, and took advantage of the situation.

The next night, the bartender was, again, working the late shift, but some of his friends stopped by, so he told them about the previous night and his good time with the blonde woman. All of a sudden, the blonde walks in again. The bartender motions to his friends that she is the same lady. The lady sits down at the bar and orders another Coors. Eventually, she passes out. The bartender closes up shop, and him and all his friends take their turns.

The next night, the bartender is working the late shift. His friends show up, with all of their friends, and so there is a huge crowd in the bar. The woman walks in again, orders a Coors, drinks it, and then passes out. So, the barender closes up shop, and everyone has a turn.

The next night, even more people are waiting at the bar. The woman walks in and orders a Budweiser.

The bartender, his plans foiled, asks, “You don’t want the usual?”

She looks at him for a minute and shakes her head. “No. Coors makes my pussy sore!”

Well, there was this blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. So one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do …I memorized all the state capitals.”One of the guys, of course, said “I don’t believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?””N”, she answered.

Two blondes were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each hit their ball anyway. When they walked to the green, they discovered one about three feet from the cup, while the other somehow had gone directly in.

They tried to figure out which ball belonged to who, since they were both using Titleist number threes. Unable to decide, they returned to the Club House and asked the golf pro for a ruling.

After hearing their story and congratulating them both on their superb shots under such adverse conditions he asked, “OK, so who was playing the yellow ball?”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

A blonde goes to a Pharmacy and she looks all around looking for “Bottom Deodarant”. she cant find it, so she askes the cashier and the cashier says that they dont sell “Bottom deodarandt” here. the blonde says that she got the deodarant here last time, i will prove it to you! so she goes out to her car and gets the deodarent and goes back into the Pharmacy. the cashier looks closely at the deodarant stick and says “Mam, this here aint no butt deodarant, this is arm deodarant!” then the blonde says “yea it is, it says right here on the directions, Twist and push up bottom”.

What did the blonde say when the guy blew in her ear?

Thanks for the refill.

Five blondes go into a bar and one of them says to the bartender, “A round of drinks for me and my friends.”

They get their drinks and the raise their glasses to a toast of, “To 51 days!” and they drink.

The “head blonde” asks the bartender to set them up again.

Again, the blondes toast “To 51 days!” and they drink. After they order a third round, the bartender says that he has to ask what the toast means.

The head blonde says, “We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. On the box it said, “two to four years” and we finished it in 51 days”.

Q How do you keep a blond bissey?

A put her in a round room and tell them to finde the coners.

Two blondes were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each hit their ball anyway. When they walked to the green, they discovered one about three feet from the cup, while the other somehow had gone directly in. They tried to figure out which ball belonged to who, since they were both using Titleist number threes. Unable to decide, they returned to the Club House and asked the golf pro for a ruling.After hearing their story and congratulating them both on their superb shots under such adverse conditions he asked, ‘OK, so who was playing the yellow ball ?’

if a blonde and a brunette are on the top of a cliff and they both jump off at the same time, which one will land first?

the brunette cause the blonde would stop and ask for directions!

There is a red brown and a blonde they were racing from one end of the lake to another doing the breast stroke. one hour after they started ther red came in first,one hour later the brown came in past the finish line in second place,five hours later the blonde came last and the blonde replied”They cheated they used their arms!””

“

A redhead, a blond and a brunette were all pregnant at once.
They were very excited about their new arrivals, and were trying
to figure out what sex the baby will be.
“My baby will be a boy, because when we had sex my husband was
on top,” said the redhead.
“My baby is going to be a girl because I was on top during sex,
” says the brunette.
There was a few moments of silence, and then the blond exclaims,
“I’m going to have puppies!”

Two blondes were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching the town
of Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name. They
argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the
counter, one blonde asked the manager, “Before we order,could you please settle
an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are,…very slowly?”

The manager leaned over the counter and said,
“Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing.”