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A woman explains to the doctor, “When I touch my arm,
ouch, it hurts. When I touch my leg, ouch, it hurts.
When I touch my head, ouch, it hurts. When I touch my
chest, ouch, it hurts.”
The doctor just shakes his head and asks, “You’re a
natural blond, aren’t you?”
The woman smiles and says, “Why, yes I am. How
did you know?”
The doctor replies, “Because your finger is broken.”
What is black, blue and brown? A blonde who has told too many blonde jokes.
What is the definition of eternity? Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.
Why is it so hard to build a blonde snowman?Because you have to hollow out the head.
Q. Why did the blonde bring two pairs of pants to the golf course?
A. Because she was afraid she might get a hole in one.
Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress
(reading her name tag)?
A: “‘Debbie’. . . that’s cute. What did you name the other one?”
A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building.
Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, “Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?”
The officer replied, “Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It’ll take you right there.”
She thanked the officer and he drives off.
Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.
The officer got out of his car and said, “Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?”
The blonde replied, “Don’t worry, officer, it won’t be long now. The 45th bus just went by!”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
Q:why did the blondes jump off the building?
A:cause they wanted to see if their maxi pads really had wings
Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A: “It’s OK Daddy, I’m not hurt.”
Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.
Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, “I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?”
Gloria said, “I want 15 gallons. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath.”
Alan asked, “Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?”
Gloria replied, “No, just up to my waist.”
Q: Why don’t blondes double their recipes?
A: The oven doesn’t go to 700 degrees.
Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool!