Yours Fun Portal !
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had
acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their
names were…
The blonde responded by saying that one was named
Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming
dogs like that?”
“HELLOOOOOO,” answered the blond. “They’re
watch dogs!”
your mom is like a toilet fat white and smells like shit!
When all other means of communication fail, try words.
-Ashleigh Brilliant
May I speak to the conductorA musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead.The musician calls back 25 times more and gets the same message from receptionist.She asks why he keeps calling. He replies, “I just like to hear you say it.”
An African American walk in to the store with a gun for hold up! He ask only for $25 money for gas and a can of coke, the cashier went and got the African American guy some real coke and some food stamps. He say thanks, this is what I wanted but just don’t think you sell drugs behind the counter! If I know, I don’t have to explained at the beginning!
Q: How many rec.humor.funny readers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: 50. They all stand out in the hall while Maddi comes out every once in a while and looks at all the light bulbs people have brought. Finally she selects a few. They’re all quite feeble and burn out after a few minutes, so she comes out for more. But she selects more dim bulbs, which causes great discontent among the people who have brought really bright, long-lasting bulbs.
Classified Ad:
Snow Blower For Sale….
Only Used On Snowy Days
What do you call a 90-year-old man who can still masturbate?
Miracle whip!
Men are like…..Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
A man goes to the Doctor 4 a routine checkup and the doctor asks
him to take off his clothes and sit on the bed. When the man
sits on the bed the doctor notices that his penis is a strange
yellowy colour.
“Did you know that your penis is yellow?” asked the Doctor.
“No I didn’t,” replied the man.
“What have you been eating or doing in the past 24 hours?”
“Well all I’ve done is eaten cheetos and watched pornos.”
~~~~~so theres 2 muffins in an oven, on muffin says
“damn, it’s hot as hell in here” and the other muffin goes,
“AAH! A TALKING MUFFIN!!”~~~~~
wasn’t that the funnies joke u ever heard? laugh!
I SAID LAUGH DAMMIT! LAUGH!
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.”
The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge…no sir!
I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in another line!”