Q: How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None, if he wants to sit in the dark, it’s his business.
Author: admin
we cool
why are blondes so dumb?
they are not every one else is really dumb
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical…
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer,
a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the
car just stops by the side of the road, and the three
engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the
electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault
might have occurred. The chemical engineeer, not knowing
much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming
emulsified and getting blocked somewhere. Then, the
Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes
up with a suggestion, “Why don`t we close all the windows,
get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe
it’ll work !?”
How many Lacanians does it take to screw in…
How many Lacanians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three-one to do it, one to desire it, and the ignorant Other.
Feels good
A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife: Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what happened! She’s got a red and white bra.
You know, these are the colours of my favourite football team. Anyway, it’s not a big deal but it feels good.
The next day when they come home her wife asks: How was your day? The man says: Fantastic! It’s not only her bra that is red and white but also her panties. You know it’s not a big deal but it really feels good!
The third day they meet at home after work and now the man asks his wife: And what happened today in your office, honey?
She says: Oh, nothing special, sweetheart. I got a new boss today. His dick is two inches longer than yours. You know it’s not a big deal but hell it feels good !
Monica Lewinsky
There is a picture going around that has Monica Lewinsky with white around
her lips. On the bottom of the picture it reads “Got Clinton.”
Two Kinds Of Men
What are the only two kinds of men?
Studs and duds.
The Blonde and The Cop
A cop was driving over town! He saw a red Benz zizzaging every which way on the street.
The cop did his duty. When he drove up next to the car, he saw a drop dead gorgeous blonde, sewing in the car. “Pullover”, he shouted.
“No, replied the blonde “a pair of socks!
Passing a Small Island
From a passenger cruise ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.
“Who is it?” a passenger asks the captain.
“I’ve no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts.”
Psyched up
In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression.
The instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth, screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”
A young man in the rear raised his hand and suggested earnestly, “A basketball coach?”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Sad News
Dear Friend,
It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon – the veteran Pillsbury Spokesman. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours.
Long time friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very “smart” cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.
Bag
Saddam sent his son shopping to get some food.
His son came back with the food on his head.
So Saddam says “Why have you got the shopping on your head?”
The son replies, “Because there is no Baghdad!”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo