Category: rednecks

Your kids LIKE the Arch Deluxe hamburger at McDonalds.You think the tobacco companies have done nothing wrong.You *have* a clawfoot bathtub.

What do you get when you put 32 rednecks in a room?

:A full set of teeth!!!!!

Well a red neck likes to stand beside the highway a lot and a few weeks ago he saw a squirl on a chikens back crossing the road and asked him why he crossed the road on the chickens back and he said “because im tied to the dang chickens back now get me off please.

CIA Test

Three guys are applying for job with the CIA. They got all the way to the final test.

So the first guy walks into the directors office and sits down. The director reaches in his desk and pulls out a pistol. Lays it on his desk in front of the guy. Tells him, “This test is to test your loyalty. Take this gun and go up the stairs and go into the first room on your right. Your wife will be in there. Put a bullet in her head.” The guy looks at him and says,”no way.” So the director says, “You fail.”

The next guy comes in. The director tells him the same thing. Guy picks up the gun and head for the room. Comes back about 15 minutes later. Tells the director that he just couldn`t go through with it. The director says, “you fail.”

So now the third guy comes in, same scene. Guy heads up to the room. The director hears 3 shots, followed by a whole lot of ruckus (glass breaking, furniture getting smashed). Guy comes back in all beat up and his clothes tore up. The director goes, “What happened to you?” Guy replies, “After three shots I realized that there were blanks in the gun so I had to choke her to death.”

You’re a redneck if…. You have been fired from a construction job because of
your appearance.

You’re a redneck if…. Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your
hair.

Q: how do you circumsize a hillbilly????

A: kick his sister in the jaw!!!!!

A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a red neck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the red neck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the red neck’s house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.

The red neck replied that it wasn’t easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all wanted to let him go.

An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, “Got any ID?”

The driver says,” ‘ Bout what?”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

You might be a redneck if, your wife’s hairdo was ever ruined by a ceiling fan!

You might be a redneck if, you refuse to slide during a softball game because you don’t want to crush your cigarettes!

You might be a redneck if, you’re mowing your lawn and find a car.

You might be a redneck If, you were shooting pool when any of your children were born!

You might be a redneck if, you were conceived, born and taught on a pool table.

You might be a redneck if, the interviewer asks, ‘”Did you know that we are a Fortune 500 Company?'” And you answer, ‘”What track do y’all sponsor that race at? I ain’t been to that one yet.”

You might be a redneck If, you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a dog!

You are a redneck if your prom date is your brother, or if you went to the prom in your father’s pickup truck!

You might be a Redneck if you use the same tree your dog does!

Y’might be a redneck, if you clean your toilet by peein’ on the stains!

Q.What’s te best pick up line in any state below the Mason-Dixon line?A.Get in the truck!