Category: other

En alg�n restaurante de la ciudad, entra un hombre a comer. Se le acerca el mesero y le pregunta que se va a servir. El hombre le contesta, “Deme la cuchara por favor.”

El mesero, asombrado, se la entrega, y el hombre la huele y le dice: “Hay arroz con pollo, �verdad?”

El mesero se asombra y le dice que s� y le sirve el plato.

Al d�a siguiente, entra el mismo hombre al restaurante, y le pide nuevamente la cuchara al mesero, �ste se la da, el hombre la huele y le dice: “Hay arroz con menestra, �verdad?”

El mesero le dice que s� y le sirve el plato. Al otro d�a el mesero ve que el hombre va a entrar al restaurante y le pide a Mechita que se pase la cuchara por la vagina. Cuando se sienta el hombre, el mesero le dice: “La cuchara, �verdad?”

Cuando el hombre la huele dice: “Mesero, aqu� trabaja Mechita �verdad?”

Jesus was standing on a hill talking to his people.

“He who hath not sinned, cast the first stone.”

Just then a stone came flying from the back of the crowd and hit him hard on the head.

“Ouch, Dad! I hate when you do that!”

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Like i care!

what is pink and fuzzy?……pink fuz
what is blue and fuzzy?……pink fuz holding its breathe!

There once was a girl named suzy brown who thought no body could
lay her down. Over the hill came pissball pete with forty feet
of swinging meat. He took here in the long green grass, suck his
dick right up her ass. Suzy brown let go a fart blew his balls
forty feet apart. Over the hill came pissball pete with forty
feet of Shredded meat.

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day. One remarked to the other, “Windy, ain’t it?”

“No,” the second man replied, “It’s Thursday.”

And the third man chimed in, “So am I. Let’s have a coke.”

1. Go up to them and say , ” Do you know what the most annoying
sound in the world is ? EOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ! ”

2. Stare at them until they can absolutly not take it any more !

3. Tap them on the shoulder , and every time they look at you ,
say , ” Does this bother you ? “

4. Put your two index fingers on the back of there heads , and
slowly raise them up , saying , ” I’m a martion from outter
space ! And i’m here to get you ! ”

5. Ask them to tie your shoe . When they do , tell them , ” That
isn’t good enough ! Do it again ! ” And say it in a real serious
voice .

Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees?

So the German soldiers can march in the shade.

One misty Scottish morning a man was driving through the hills to Inverness.

Suddenly out of the mist, a huge red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. He’s built like a wardrobe and despite the wind and near-freezing temperatures, is only wearing a kilt and a tweed shirt.

At the roadside there also stands a beautiful young woman, slim, shapely, a heart stopper.

The driver’s attention is drawn from the woman when the highlander opens the car door and drags the man onto the road.

“Right, you,” shouts the highlander, “I want you to masturbate.”

“But….” stammers the driver. “Now…. or I’ll bloody kill you.”

So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside, this only takes a few seconds.

“Right,” says the highlander, “Do it again!”

“But….” stammers the driver.

“Now! yells the highlander.

So the driver pulls himself off again.

“Right, do it again,” demands the highlander. This goes on for nearly two hours.

The poor man has cramps in both arms, he has rubbed himself raw and despite the icy wind, has collapsed in a sweating, gibbering heap on the ground.

“Do it again,” says the highlander.

“I can’t,” whimpers the driver. “You’ll just have to kill me.”

The highlander looks down at this pathetic wreck of a man slumped at his feet.

“All right,” he says, “NOW you can give my daughter a lift into Inverness”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing

There are a Frenchman, an Englishman, a German and a Jew on a
plane, and about half way through their flight the captain reports that
there are engine troubles, and in order to stay in the air the plane must
lose some weight. After the baggage is dropped, the plane is still too
heavy.

The frenchman, being full of pride for his country, opens the
plane door and says “Viva la France” and jumps out. Still too heavy.

The Englishman says “For my Queen and country” and jumps out, but
the plane is still too heavy.

The German says “For the Fatherland” and pushes the Jew out.

did you ever read the book yellow river by I. P. daily

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer. Unfortunately, he mistyped the address and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson, the widow of a recently deceased minister.

The preacher’s wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.

When her family finally revived her and asked her what had happened, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: “Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here.”