The Engineering graduate asks: “How does it work?” The Science graduate asks: “Why does it work?” The Accounting graduate asks: ” How much will it cost to work?”The Liberal Arts graduate asks: “Do you want fries with that?”
Category: other
That is amazing!!
The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group of them got
together and approached a conference of Americans, Germans, and Japanese and
asked for help on this matter. An American replied, “You must do something so
the world will respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and the
Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans have had respect since
we helped win the World War against the other two. See, you need to do something
world-famous.” A German added,” Yes, he’s right. Why don’t you find a place in
this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build, build it, come back
to us, and we will help publicize it.”
With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They designed it and
worked 6 months and finally completed it. They then went back to report it to
the group. The bridge was a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected
in the middle of the Sahara Desert. An American said, “No, no. See, that is why
you have your reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the
desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic spot to erect it.”
The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the Japanese said,
“Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to dismantle that bridge and build a new
one??? That is amazing!!” To which a Polish man replied, “Well, not exactly.
When we returned to the bridge we couldn’t dismantle it because there were all
these Italians fishing off it.”
El marido le dice a
El marido le dice a su mujer:
“�Me podr�as avisar, por favor, cuando tengas un orgasmo?”
“�Pero cari�o, si me dijiste que no pod�a llamarte al trabajo!”
***
Una pareja est� en un restaurante. El le dice a ella:
“Mira, la chica del vestido rojo me est� sonriendo.”
“�Ya! La primera vez que te vi, yo tambi�n me orin� de la risa.”
***
Mar�a, prom�teme que cuando me muera te casar�s con Antonio.
“�Pero, si es tu peor enemigo!”
“�Pues por eso, que se joda!”
***
Ad�n y Eva paseaban por el para�so. Y Eva pregunta:
“Ad�n, �me amas?”
Y Ad�n refunfu�ando:
“�Tengo otra alternativa?”
***
Le pregunta un peque�o a su padre:
“Pap�, �por qu� te casaste con mam�?”
“T� tampoco te lo explicas, �verdad?”
Retirement Day
After 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same
neighborhood, the mailman was going to retire. When he arrived at the first
house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly
congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman
in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the
door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most
passionate love he had ever experienced!
When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant
breakfast; eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed
orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she
was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup’s bottom
edge.
‘All of this was just too wonderful for words’, he said; ‘But what’s the
dollar for’?
‘Well’, she said, ‘last night, I told my husband that today would be your last
day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give
you, and he said; ‘Screw him. Give him a dollar’. ‘The breakfast was my idea!!’
Pecock
A guy walked into the barber shop, and saw this teenager has his orange
and yellow hair straight up in the air. This guy couldn’t help to staring
at the teen. The teen asked, “What are you looking at?” The guy replied,
“I’ve done some pretty stupid things before.” The teen asked, “Like what?”
“Well, I screwed a pecock and I was just wondering if you were my kid!”
said the guy.
Problem with a dog
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can’t even ride a bicycle.
Es el primer d�a de
Es el primer d�a de colegio de Jaimito, y como estaba muy nervioso, su madre le aconseja lo siguiente:
“Cuando la profesora te pregunte cu�ntos a�os tienes le dices que 6 a�itos; cuando te pregunte el nombre le dices Jaimito y si te pregunta si sabes leer le dices que un poquito.”
Jaimito ya est� en el colegio y la profesora le pregunta: “�C�mo te llamas?”
Y Jaimito, muy nervioso, contesta en el orden que le hab�a dicho su madre: “6 a�itos.”
“�Cu�ntos a�os tienes?”
“Jaimito.”
“�Me est�s tomando el pelo?”
“Un poquito.”
A lesbian request
A popular whore house was visited by a lesbian.
The lesbian requested a 15 year old, and the madam replied “I’m sorry, we don’t serve minors to lickers.”
Al llegar al cielo hab�a
Al llegar al cielo hab�a una entrada para hombres y otra para mujeres. Por la entrada de hombres, hab�a dos puertas, una con un letrero que dec�a: “MI MUJER MANDABA EN MI CASA”, y otra con un letrero que dec�a “YO MANDABA EN MI CASA”.
Como es de suponerse, en la primera puerta, hab�a una cantidad enorme de hombres esperando, mientras que en la segunda puerta, no hab�a nadie. Un d�a un reci�n llegado al cielo tom� la opci�n de entrar por la segunda puerta. Todos los presentes se sorprendieron much�simo, y cuchicheaban entre s�, hasta que por fin alguien se anim� a preguntarle al reci�n llegado la raz�n de que hubiera elegido esa puerta, a lo que el hombre respondi�:
“Es que mi mujer me dijo que me formara aqu�.”
Dos amigas est�n charlando:
Dos amigas est�n charlando:
“Me he enterado que Pili habla de ti por la espalda”.
“Vaya, �y se le entiende?”
Yuor like a
your like a light switch even three year olds can turn you on
Dairy Queen
How did Dairy Queen (U.S. restaurant) get Pregnant?
Burger King showed her it’s Whopper.