Category: other

Three guys are golfing with the club pro.

First guy tees off and hits a dribbler about 60 yards. He turns to the pro and says, “What did I do wrong?”

The pro says, “Loft”

The next guy tees off and hits a duck hook into the woods. He asks the pro,”What did I do wrong?”

The pro says “Loft”.

The third guy tees off and hits a slice into a pond. He asks the pro, “What did I do wrong?”

The pro says “Loft”.

As they’re walking to their balls, the first guy finally speaks up. He says to the pro,”The three of us hit completely different tee shots, and when we asked you what we did wrong you answered the same exact answer each time. What is loft?”

The pro says, “Lack of freaking talent.”

why cant mexicans live on the moon?

there is no grass to cut

Un joven se sienta en la barra de un bar. El camarero le pregunta:

“�Qu� se va a servir?”

“Quiero seis tequilas”.

“��Seis?! �Est� celebrando algo?”

“S�, la primera vez que hago sexo oral”.

“Bueno, en ese caso deje que le invite el s�ptimo para darle la enhorabuena”.

“No se ofenda, pero si con seis no se me quita este sabor, no me lo quitar� con nada”.

Q: If there is a Mexican and a Black man in a car, who is driving?

A: A police officer

captin:one final question before we give you your badge. recruit:yes,sir? captinwhat would you do if you were required to arrest your own mother? recuit:call for backup,sir

When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland,
what they don’t tell you is that he was the only one who saw any
snakes!

What is wrong with Polish snow tires?

They melt.

A duck hunter killed four ducks. He put them into his bag and began to walk home. The game warden stopped him and said, “So, your a duck hunter?”

“Yes sir, I am”

The warden sticks his thumb up the first duck’s ass and says, ” This duck is from New York, do you have a New York hunting license?”

The hunter replies, “Yes I do.” and he shows it.

The warden checks the other ducks, the same way, and says, “My, my, you have ducks from NY, VT, CT and NH! Where are you from?”

The hunter turns around, bends over and pulls down his pants, and says, “I don’t know…why don’t you tell me?”

McAteer arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with tears
streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already
homesick. “No,” replied McAteer. “I’ve lost all me luggage!” “How’d that
happen?” “The cork fell out,” said the Irishman.

Las tres formas de hacer el amor dentro de casa:

1) Por toda la casa – T�pico de reci�n casados, hacen el sexo en la cocina, en el ba�o, en la sala, etc.

2) En la rec�mara – T�pico de matrimonios que han estado juntos alg�n tiempo, hacen el sexo solamente en la rec�mara.

3) En los pasillos – T�pico de matrimonios que han convivido por mucho tiempo. Normalmente se encuentran en los pasillos y se dicen uno al otro: “�J�dete!”

Father Murphy was ministering to a man on his deathbed.
“Renounce Satan!” yelled Father Sullivan.

“No!,” said the dying man.

“I say, renounce the devil and his works!”
“No way!,” the man repeats.

“And why, in the name of all that is holy, not?” asks Father Murphy.

“Because,” said the dying man…
“I want to wait until I see where I’m heading before I start pissing anyone off!”

One day a guy was walking down a street when all of the sudden
he got mugged. The gang that mugged him took everything even
his clothes. So he just sat down in the middle of the sidewalk
in all of his despair. Then the hottest chick he has ever seen
drives up in a ferrari and asks him if he would like a ride? Of
course he says yes so he walks over to the car and opens the
door once she sees that he absoloutely no clothes on she slams
the door shut and statrs to drive off. Once at ten mph she
notices something looks to her side and see’s that guy there
running right next to her so she speeds up to 20 he is still
there so up to 30 still there. This goes on till she gets to 60
mph. When she stops the car she asks “dang how can you run that
fast?” to which he replies “you could run that fast too if yuo
had your dick stuck in the door!”