Category: other

Why did Adam and Eve eat the apple of knowledge??
because obviously they were pretty dumb not to kno theyre naked.

Una mujer envi� su ropa interior a una lavander�a china. Al recogerla, se percata que unas de sus pantaletas a�n ten�a ciertas manchas. En la siguiente ocasi�n que manda su ropa a la lavander�a pone una nota:

“Use m�s jab�n en las pantaletas”.

D�as despu�s, cuando recoge su ropa, encuentra una nota del lavandero entre las prendas:

“Use m�s papel en su trasero”.

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The salesgirl notices him and asks if she can help him.He answers that he looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter.She says, confused, “Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?””You see it’s like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of Cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!”

Entra un m�dico a la habitaci�n del paciente y le dice a sus familiares:

“Por favor, salgan de la habitaci�n porque le vamos a introducir un supositorio al paciente”.

Como a los 5 minutos sale el doctor, y uno de sus familiares le pregunta:

“�Est� todo bien?”

“Pues s�”.

“�Y ese supositorio que tiene usted en la oreja?”

“�Ay, el lapicero!”

Grandpa and grandma were living with their son and daughter-in-law.

Grandpa noticed that his son had a bottle of Viagra and asked if he could have one.

His son said, “Dad, I don’t think you should take one they’re very strong and expensive.”

Grandpa said, “I know — but I want to try one. How much are they?”

His son said, “They’re $10 each.”

Grandpa only had a $50 bill but he said he was going to the bank and would leave $10 under his son’s pillow that night.

The next morning his son found $110 under his pillow and said “Dad, I told you it was only $10 — there’s $110 under my pillow!”

Grandpa said, “That’s okay, — the other $100 is from Grandma!”

Un d�a la mam� de Pepito le dijo que fuera a comprar huevos para el almuerzo.

Rumbo a la tienda, pas� un accidente. Pepito se asust� y se fue para la casa.

“�Mam�, mam�, atropellaron a un hombre!”

Y la mam� pregunta:

“Y los huevos Pepito?”

“�Ah no!, eso s� que no se los vi.”

Two Polish guys are sitting on a bench in the park. All of a sudden, a bum
comes up to them and says in a gruff voice, “Hey, I’ve gotta riddle for
you guys.” “What is it?” Asks one of them. “What has TWO heads, FOUR arms,
FOUR legs and is as dumb as a rock?” The bum asks. The Polish guys look at
each other and one of them says “Well, we don’t know, what is it?” “YOU
AND YOUR FRIEND!” The bum says and walks away. The Polish guys hesitate
for a moment in apparent confusion and then start laughing. “Hey, that was
such a good riddle the bum told us!” They say “Let’s go tell it to someone
else!” They looked around in the park and saw two American guys walking.
They came up to them, snickering, and anxious to tell that joke to
someone. “Hey guys!” “Yeah?” The other guys turn around. “We got a riddle
for you two!” “Yeah, what is it?” “What has TWO heads, FOUR arms, FOUR
legs and is as dumb as a ROCK?” The other guys think for a moment and then
say, “Okay, we give up, what is it?” The Polish guys look at each other,
snickering even more, “ME AND MY FRIEND!”

It was early spring in British Columbia�..A Frenchman hired three Indians to do some tracking for him while he hunted bear�A few hours into the trip through the mountains they came upon a cave and all stopped�One of the Indians steps forward and yells, “WOO�WOOO”� There was a similar response from in the cave� He then tore all his clothes off and ran into the cave�Another couple of hours goes by� Another cave� They all stop� The second Indian yells “WOO�WOOO”� And again “woo�wooo” was heard from the cave� He rips off his clothes and darts into the cave�Now the Frenchman was very curious and asks�”What da devil is going on???” The third Indian explains�”It Indian mating season�when you give mating call and it returned mean available female in cave.” A little while later�a third cave�a third call�a third response�The clothes are off�the Indian is gone.”Well dare ain’t gonna be no huntin now” the Frenchman thinks to himself. So�along the trail the Frenchman sees a big cave and� “WOO�WOOO”���..No response “WOO�WOOO”�Hesitation�Then “woo�wooooo” From in the cave� The Frenchman rips off all his clothes and runs full speed into the cave�The next day in the Vancover Times���������headlines read NAKED FRENCHMAN KILLED BY TRAIN

Two teenagers wander off to the bushes during a softball game on the outskirts of town and start necking.

After a while the boy stops.

“You know we’ve been doing this for a few weeks now and I think it’s time we went all the way.” he pleads.

“Well, maybe,” she says, “but I’m a virgin and I heard it hurts. Besides all those people at the field may hear us.”

The boy stops and says, “Hmmm, well then if it hurts, start making cow sounds, and I’ll stop. But if it feels good start singing. That way no one will ever guess what we’re really doing.”

The girl agrees so they quickly take off their clothes and get down to business.

Ten minutes later people watching the game hear sounds echoing through the quiet countryside so loudly that the teams stop playing.

“Moooo ….. Moooooo …… Moooooooon River …….!”

Submitted by Calamjo
EDited by Curtis

One day this Preacher decided that he would skip church and go hunting. When
in the woods he came upon a bear. He started running, and he ran for a while
until all of a sudden he tripped over a tree root. At this moment he was almost
face to face with the bear. He dropped to his knees and said, “Dear Lord, if
there is one wish I would want for you to give me it would be to make this bear
a Christian.” And at that instant�the bear halted to a stop and dropped to his
knees and said, “Dear Lord, thank you for the food I am about to receive!”

Your apartment is so small, the roaches are hunchbacks.

There are so many roaches in your house you should make them sighn a lease.

Your house is so small, when you eat in the kitchen your elbows are in the
livingroom.

Your house is so poor they tore it down to put up a slum.

I went to your house stepped on a cigerett, your mom yelled who turned off
the heat?

Your house is so hot the roaches carry canteens.

Your family is so poor your house has a kickstand.

Yo’ mama so fat, you use her thong as a hammock!