Category: other

A teacher said to her little student Suzy, “Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry.”

Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, “Let’s see. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry!!!”

Grandpa is running around in the nursing home with his privates hanging out of his pants screaming : “My penis just died, my penis just died!”

The nurses calm him down,and he goes back to his room. The next day, grandpa is running around again with his privates hanging out, so the nurse asks him: “I thought you said yesterday that your penis died. What happened?”

Grandpa replies: “Yes, it did… but today is the viewing!”

Se encuentran Venancio y Manolo, pero �ste �ltimo ten�a un ping�ino de la mano, y Venancio le pregunta:

“Oye, Manolo, �pero qu� haces con ese ping�ino?”

“Pues na, que me lo he encontrao y no se qu� hacer con �l.”

“C�mo ser�s tonto Manolo, �por qu� no lo has llevao al zool�gico?

“Hombre, pues qu� buena idea. Hoy mismo lo llevo al zool�gico.”

Al d�a siguiente se vuelven a encontrar, pero Manolo sigue con el ping�ino, por lo que Venencio, extra�ado, le pregunta:

“�Qu� ha pasado contigo Manolo, no habeis dicho que llevar�as al ping�ino al zool�gico?”

“Hombre pues lo he llevao, y nos hemos divertido tanto que ahora nos vamos al circo.”

Dos ancianos cardenales salen de un consistorio comentando las �ltimas discusiones sobre el clero.

“�Qu� le parece, Eminencia: iremos a ver nosotros la abolici�n del celibato eclesi�stico?”

“No, Eminencia, nosotros probablemente no… �pero quiz�s nuestros nietos!”

Una viuda octogenaria se presenta al ginec�logo para que le extienda un certificado de virginidad.

“�Pero, do�a C�stula, c�mo quiere que le extienda ese certificado si usted ha enviudado tres veces!”

“Mira, mi’jito, mi primer esposo era PRI�sta y con �l puro dedazo. Mi segundo esposo, era PRDista y con �l, pura lengua. Y mi �ltimo esposo era PANista, y una vez que estaba arriba no sab�a qu� hacer”.

Q:How do you know a dumb person has been on a computer?

A:There is white out on the screen!!

One day there was a cat wtaching the fish watching a fly above
the water and the fish was thinking if that fly drops 6 inches I
can jump up and eat it. The cat was thinkng if the fly drops 6
inches and the fish jumps up to get it I can catch the fish and
eat it. Well, the fly dropped 6 inches, the fish jumped, the cat
missed the fish and fell in the pond.
The moral of the story is that when the fly drops 6 inches the
pussy gets wet.

Un tipo acude a una taquer�a mexicana. Al verlo, el taquero le pregunta:

“�De qu� quiere su taco?”

“Deme uno de oreja”.

Entonces, el taquero toma un filoso cuchillo y le corta una ojera al parroquiano; la pica, la pone en una tortilla y le consulta:

“�Lo quiere con chile?”

“�No, no, no!”, dice el parroquiano, bajando las manos y protegi�ndose la zona p�bica. “�A m� no me gusta el picante!”

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. “Please DO
NOT to try these techniques at home.”
“Why not?” asked somebody from the audience.

“I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years,” the expert explained.
“She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets,
often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, ‘Honey, why don’t
you try carrying several things at once?'”

“Did it save time?” the person in the audience asked.

“Actually, yes,” replied the expert. “It used to take her 20 minutes to make
breakfast. Now I do it in seven.”

En una fiesta, un ni�o mimado insiste en que quiere un globo. La abuela coge una silla para alcanzarlo, pero en el momento que estira la pierna para subirse se le sale un pedo. El nieto comienza a llorar:

“�Ya no quiero un globo, ya no quiero un globo!”

Molesta, la abuela le pregunta:

“�Entonces qu� quieres?”

“�Ahora quiero la cornetita!”

Yo’ mama so fat, when she goes to a stadium, she sits next to everybody!

Martha and Harry went to the fair every year.
And every year Harry said to martha.. I want a ride in the
airplane… wouldn’t it be so much fun up there in the sky so
high!
And every year Martha would reply.. No Harry..it costs ten
dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars..
This conversation kept on happenning but one year Harry said to
Martha.. “I am 71 years old.. this may be my last chance to ride
in an airplane..” So martha agreed and the airplane pilot made
them a deal.. If you dont talk AT ALL throughout the trip well
it wont cost you anything.. but if you talk AT ALL during the
trip it will cost you Ten dollars..
So the plane flight came to an end after ten minutes of twists
and turns in the air and dives over the sea…
When the plane landed the pilot said You done very well not to
talk throughout the whole plane trip and Harry replied.. Well i
found it very hard not to talk when martha fell out of the plane!