Category: other

Vow of Silence
At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of
silence. This vow could only be broken once a year on Christmas, by one
monk, and the monk could speak only one sentence. One Christmas, Brother
Thomas had his turn to speak and said, “I love the delightful mashed
potatoes we have every year with the Christmas roast!”” Then he sat down.
Silence ensued for 365 days. The next Christmas

One day, there was this small boy who was uneducated. His parents were fighting and this is what they said.

“You’re a bitch!”” said the father to his wife.
“”You’re a bustard!””sard the mother to her husband.
“”Mom Dad

One day, a teacher was in her class teaching her lesson plan.

“Now were going to go around the class

There once was a Chinese waiter that worked at a bar. One day a man came in and sat down. The Chinese waiter walked up to him and said,
“Can I get you something?”” And the man said “” A coke

A man walking in a park found a tenis ball which he picked up and put in his pocket. Later he met a woman who asked what the bulge was in his pants.
“Tennis ball”” replied the man.
“”Oh”” she said

Lady Nancy Astor once got annoyed at Churchill.
“Winston

There once was a girl who loved goin up over the hills of her grandma’s house. One day she was exploring and found a tree. This was no ordinary tree. It was a muffin tree. She loved muffins. She always came up to that tree and ate its muffins. But one day, she got tired. “Why do you only grow blueberry muffins

One day a mother goes to visit her daugter who has just been married.

The mother sees her daugter sitting. Waiting for her huband, but she’s on the couch naked. The mother asks the daugter why she’s not wearing any clothes.

The daugter replies, “This is the dress of love.””

So

Emma turned 100 years old and was very excited about receiving a telegram from the queen. She sat on her verandah very early waiting for the telegram boy.At 10am the boy came down the street on his bike but went past her house. Never mind she thought there is plenty of time.
At 1 pm the boy went past again. Emma was disappointed but thought it is only lunchtime.
At 5pm the telegram boy came by and stopped at her gate. She was very Excited and said “Sing it to me”” Are you sure? said the boy. Yes said Emma I have been waiting all day for this. All right

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.

“Yes

A frog walks into a bank. He sees that the person at the front desk’s name is Patty Whack. The frog says ” Patty Whack

One night when a boy prayed to god, the boy asked god:

How Long is 1 million years to you?
God replies 1 second.

The Boy asked God:
How much is 1 million dallors to you?
God replies 1 penny.

Then the boy asked god if he could have a penny.
God replies…sure, “gimme 1 second”.