what do black parents give their children on christmas?
your bike
Category: other
Un zool�gico hab�a comprado una
Un zool�gico hab�a comprado una gorila hembra de una especie rara. Tras unas semanas, la gorila se volvi� irritable y dif�cil de manejar. Tras examinarla, el veterinario determin� que estaba en celo, lo cual era un gran problema, ya que no hab�a ning�n macho de esa especie disponible.
Tras pensarlo detenidamente, el administrador del zool�gico repar� en Manolo, un empleado responsable de limpiar las jaulas. Manolo ten�a reputaci�n de saber satisfacer a cualquier mujer y no parec�a muy listo. Tal vez podr�an convencerlo de satisfacer a la gorila. As� que le propusieron: “�Aceptar�as hacerlo con la gorila por 500 d�lares?”
Manolo dijo que podr�a intersarle, pero que deseaba pensarlo un poco.
Al d�a siguiente, Manolo dijo que aceptaba, con tres condiciones:
“Primero, no quiero tener que besarla. Segundo, no quiero saber nada de hijos.”
El administrador acept� sin pesta�ear estas condiciones, pero �cu�l era la tercera?
“�Bueno, me tienen que dar otra semana para juntar los 500 d�lares!”
Tax the penis
The only thing that the tax department has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 40 percent of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30 percent of the time it is bard up, 20 percent of the time it is pissed off and 10 percent of the time it is on the hole.
On top of that, it bas two dependents and they are both nuts.
Effective ! January 2001, your penis will be taxed according to size, as follows:
11-12″.,…. Luxury Tax $30
8-10′ Pole Tax $25
6-7″ Privilege Tax $15
5` Nuisance Tax $3
A male exceeding 12″ must file under capital gains while anyone under 4″ is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION.
Sincerely Pecker Checker,
Tax Department
We are stall waiting for answers to the following:
Are there penalties for early withdrawals?
What if one’s penis is self-employed?
Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes?
Easy Specimens
An old man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks for stool, urine, blood, and semen samples. The old man can’t believe it. He takes all his little sample jars and goes home.
At home, he tells his wife that the doctor wants stool, urine, blood, and semen samples.
The wife looks aghast and then realisation spreads like the dawn across her wrinkled facial features. “That’s easy,” she says, relief obvious in her voice.
“All he wants is your pajama pants!”
Yo mama’s So Fat
Yo’ mama so fat, her beeper goes off and people think she’s backing up!
Did you hear about the
Did you hear about the two Mexicans on That’s Incredible?
One had auto insurance, and the other was an only child.
Un platillo volador desciende en
Un platillo volador desciende en un vecindario; tocan a la puerta de la casa de un gangoso:
“�Qui� esg?”, pregunta con su voz nasal.
“Venimos de Marte”, responden los extraterrestres.
“�De marte de qui�?”, pregunta a su vez el gangoso.
Never Live with a Wo
The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office.”How was work, dear?” his wife asks.”Listen! I don’t want to talk about work!” he shouts.”Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?” she asks nicely.”Listen!” he shouts again.”I’m not hungry! I don’t wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? Huh?”At this moment, the wolf man started growling, and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage.Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself, “Well, I guess it’s that time of the month.”
A BIT RUDE BUT VERY FUNNY
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Answer:lickalotofpuss
Health insurance
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital.
As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for his treatment.
She asked if he had health insurance.
He replied in a raspy voice, “No health insurance.”
The nun asked if he had money in the bank.
He replied, “No money in the bank.”
The nun asked, “Do you have a relative who could help you?”
He said, “I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun.”
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, “Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.”
The patient replied, “Then send the bill to my brother-in-law.”
Submitted by Muffin_007
Edited by Yisman
How desperate?
What did the saint say when asked if he was completely naked? He said sure I disrobe everytime I see a dog.
Three guys were taking needles,
Three guys were taking needles, two Americans and an [ethnic] guy.
The first American takes the drug and hands the needle to the second
American who cleans the needle, takes the drug and hands it to the [ethnic] guy.
The [ethnic] guy takes the drug without cleaning the needle.
The two Americans yell at the [ethnic] guy, telling him he can get aids
from using a dirty needle.
The [ethnic] guy says “No I can’t. I’m wearing a condom”