Category: other

Para festejar los 90 a�os del abuelo le organizaron una fiesta los hijos, nietos, bisnietos, sobrinos, amigos y dem�s.

A eso de las once de la noche, ya casi todos alcoholizados, ven que el abuelo se va de lado en la silla.

“�Eh, el abuelo se cae!”, grit� uno.

Y todos corrieron a enderezarlo.

Al rato, otra vez el abuelo se va de lado en la silla.

“�Eh, miren! �Cuidado, el abuelo se cae!”

Y otra vez a enderezarlo.

Por tercera vez ven al abuelo inclinarse y al enderezarlo, �ste dice con voz temblorosa:

“�Es que no van a dejarme tirar un pedo tranquilo?”

Three guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator. While they are stuck they strike up a conversation.

The first guy says, “I’m a Y.U.P.P.I.E you know….
Young, urban, professional, peacefull, intelligent, ecologist.”

The second guy says, “I’m a D.I.N.K.Y, you know…
Double Income, No kids, Yet!”

The third guy says. “I’m a R.U.B, you know….
Rich, Urban , Biker.”

They turn to the woman and ask her ,
“What are you?”

She replies: “I’m a W.I.F.E., you know….
Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc..”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

Se encuentran tres mujeres por la calle, dos de ellas llevan abrigos de vis�n y van muy enjoyadas; la tercera, extra�ada, les pregunta:

“�C�mo hac�is para ir tan lujosas?”

“�Ay, hija, porque podemos!”

“Uy, hay que ver lo mal que pronunci�is la ‘jota'”, contesta la tercera.

there was a boy, he didn’t know any word
so one day his mum said go buy a bun, a bucket and a
cockerspaniel
so he went to the bakery and said can i please have a bum
and the baker said don’t you mean a bun and the boy yes yes.
then he went to the super market and said can i please have a
fucket
and then the man said don,t you mean a bucket the boy yes yes.
then he went to the pet shop and said may i please and cock and
spank it and then the women said don,t you mean a cockerspaniel
the boy said yes please.
he was on the bus home and the cockerspaniel jumped out the
window and he went to bus driver and said may you please hold my
bum and fucket while i go get my cock and spank it.

There was once a boy with a speech problem who had loved doing chores for his mother. One day his mother had sent him to town with a list of chores to do for her. His mother made sure to call all the stores that her son would go to so that they would know what he would want.
First, the boy set out to the hardware store and asked the clerk for a fuckit
The clerk said, Yes, your mother called you want a bucket!
Then, the boy went to the local bakery and asked the clerk for a bum
The clerk said, That’s right your mother called and you want a bun!
Then, the boy set out for his treat. He went to the local pet shop and asked the clerk for a cockand spankit
The clerk said, Oh yeah, your mother called and you want a cocker spaniel!
The boy left the pet shop with the bucket and bun in one hand and the cocker spaniel in the other. The cocker spaniel wiggled until he got loose and ran away.
The boy say an old woman who was walking by and asked her, Can you hold my bum and fuckit while I go catch my cockand spankit?

A cowboy was taken prisoner by a bunch of Indians. The Indians were all prepared to kill him when the chief announced that due to the celebration of the Great Spirit, they would grant the cowboy three wishes before he would die. “What do you want for your first wish?” asks the chief.

“I wanna talk to mah horse!” says the cowboy. He goes over to his horse and whispers in its ear. The horse neighs, rears back, and takes off at full speed. About an hour later, the horse comes back with a naked lady on its back. Well, the Indians are very impressed, so they let the cowboy use one of their teepees. A little while later, the cowboy stumbles out of the teepee, tucking in his shirt. “What do you want for your second wish?” says the chief.

“I wanna talk to mah horse!” says the cowboy. Again, the cowboy whispers in the horses ear. The horse neighs, rears back, and takes off at full speed. About an hour later, the horse comes back with another naked lady on its back. Well, the Indians are very impressed indeed. So, once again, they let the cowboy use one of their teepees. The cowboy stumbles out a little while later, and the chief asks the cowboy “What do you want for your last wish?”

“I wanna talk to mah horse!” says the cowboy. He grabs the horse by the ears and yells, “You stupid animal, I said POSSE, POSSE!!!!”

One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said, “I have to sleep with Daddy.”

A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, “The big sissy.”

One day a boy came home from school,and started his homework(hes in 2nd grade).”one plus one that son of a bitch is two,two plus two that son of a bitch is four”the boy said.The mother was worried,but stupidly se thought that it would go away………The next day the boy came home from school and said “1+1that son of a bitch is 2,2+2that son of a bitch is 4”.The mother went to the boys teacher the next day and said”Are you teaching my son 1+1that son of a bitch is 2?”and the teacher says “No.” “Im teaching him 1+1the sum of the which is 2……DUH!”

The Irish attempt on Mount Everest was a valiant effort, but it failed:
They ran out of scaffolding.

Why did the moron throw the butter out the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.

A young man was sitting in class when the professor asked him if he knew what the Roe vs. Wade decision was.

He sat quietly, pondering this profound question.

Finally, after giving it a lot of thought, he sighed and said, “I think this was the decision George Washington made prior to crossing the Delaware.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

What do you call a barn full of negros?

Antique farm equipment.