Category: other

The Norse god Thor came down to earth in his human form to find a cute human girl for some entertainment. While hanging out at a bar, he realized that the only girl who was interested in him, although attractive, had a speech impediment. However, after a few drinks, thor decided to take her to a motel anyway, where he proceeded to give her the night of her life before slipping out the door when she fell asleep.

The next day, Thor felt bad for leaving her without even telling her who he was, so he went back to earth and knocked on her door.

“Who ith it?” she asked with a lisp.

“It’s me, the guy from last night. I just wanted to tell you that I’m Thor.”

“You think YOU’RE Thor?! I won’t be able to thit down for a week!”

A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

A trucker who had driven his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill and was just starting down the equally steep other side when he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center road, making love. He blew his air horn several times as he was bearing down on them. Realizing that they were not about to get out of his way he slammed on his brakes and stopped just inches from them.

Getting out of the cab, madder than hell, the trucker walked to the front of the cab and looked down at the two, still in the road, and yelled, “What the hell’s the matter with you two? Didn’t you hear me blowing the horn? You could’ve been killed!”

The man on the highway, obviously satisfied and not too concerned, looked up and said, “Look, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes.”

What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?

Reservations.

Una se�ora llega con el sacerdote llorando.

“�Qu� le sucede se�ora?”, le pregunta el cl�rigo.

“Es mi hijo”.

“�Y qu� le pasa?”

“Es que el ni�o fuma marihuana”.

El religioso hace pasar al infante y le pregunta que desde cuando fuma.

“Desde la primera vez que hice el amor”, le contesta con desparpajo.

“�Y cu�ndo fue la primera vez que hiciste el amor?”, se sorprende el cura.

“No me acuerdo, estaba borracho”.

Yo’ mama so fat, she steps on a dollar and makes four quarters.

q;What do u call black people hangin on the barn wall?

A;Used farm equipment.

Cierta vez, una mujer se encontraba con su amante en un restaurante:

“Querido, tengo ganas que me hagas el amor en mi casa”.

“�Y si llega tu marido?”

“No te preocupes por �l: es un pendejo”.

Llega la noche y, ya en la casa, los amantes est�n en la rec�mara haciendo sus cosillas, cuando entra el marido al cuarto y los sorprende in fraganti:

“�Qu� est�n haciendo, cabrones?”

“�No te digo, mi marido es un pendejo: no sabe lo que estamos haciendo!”

1.He had only one major publication.

2.It was in Hebrew.

3.It had no references.

4.It wasn’t published in a refereed journal.

5.Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.

6.It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?

7.His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

8.The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.

9.He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.

10.When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.

11.When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.

12.He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.

13.Some say he had his son teach the class.

14.He expelled his first two students for learning.

15.Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.

16.His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

17.No record of working well with colleagues.

“Your proctologist called . They just found your head!”

Una muchacha se prepara para la boda y su mam� le est� dando las instrucciones:

“Mi hija, si tu marido te propone hacer el sexo de OTRA MANERA, �no lo aceptes!”

“Est� bien, mami”.

Pero pasan unas semanas despu�s de la boda y el esposo no le dice nada. Entonces la muchacha, por curiosidad, le sugiere:

“Vamos a hacerlo de OTRA MANERA”.

“�T� est�s loca? �Quieres quedarte pre�ada?”

What is the most confusing day in Harlem?

Fathers day.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo