Category: other

Three Englishmen were getting soused in a pub, when they spotted an Irishman
sitting off in the corner. To have a little fun, one of them approached him.
“Did y’know that St. Patrick was a sissy?”
“Oh, no, I dinnae know that. Thank ye.”
The man returned to his friends, complaining that it hadn’t worked. The second
decided to try.
“Did y’know that St. Patrick was a transvestite?”
“Oh, no, I dinnae know that. Thank ye.”
The second man returned to his friends, amazed that it hadn’t worked. The
third man knew he had the solution.
“Did y’know that St. Patrick was an Englishman?”
“Oh, no. But that’s what y’r friends hae been trying to tell me.”
Getting Down Under
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry
a man who has never been with a woman sexually.

After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a
personal ad.

She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the
Australian Outback. And after a long-distance courtship, they decide to get
married.

On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the
festivities. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing
in the middle of the room, naked and all the furniture from the room piled in
one corner.

�What happened?� she asks.

�I’ve never been with a woman,� he says. �But if it’s anything like screwing a
kangaroo I’m gonna need all the room I can get!�

Bad Things to Hear on an Airplane

10. This is your captain speaking and I don’t feel that life is worth living anymore.

9. We’re cruising at an altitude of… ah, heck, I don’t know.

8. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?

7. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Just kidding.

6. Would a flight attendant bring me a martini? And keep ’em coming!

5. This is…uh…this is…uh…your…hmm. I seem to have lost my memory.

4. Passengers on the left side of the plane – does that engine sound funny to you?

3. Welcome aboard flight 109 — you bunch of buffoons!

2. Good God, Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops — is this intercom on?

1. We’ll be on the ground in 10 minutes. One way or another!

Dos maricas van conduciendo su carro por la avenida cuando, en la esquina siguiente, se les atraviesa un cami�n cargado de ladrillos y al rebasarlos, se le caen algunos ladrillos que abollan el carro de los afeminados.

El cami�n se detiene unas cuadras despu�s, y el marica conductor se baja de su carro para reprender al camionero; �ste se da cuenta de que quien se acerca es un marica y se baja del cami�n y le suelta un taco:

“�Maric�n de mierda, te voy a romper el culo!”

El homosexual regresa a su auto y su compa�ero le pregunta:

“�Y qu� te dijo?”

“�Sabes qu�? Yo creo que el amigo quiere arreglar las cosas por las buenas”.

A woman who is tired of having a guy hit on her says, “Look … I’m sorry, but I’m just not your type. I’m not inflatable”

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.

‘Grandpa, what are you doing?’ he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him.

‘Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with no pants on?’

The old man slyly looked at him and said, ‘Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma’s idea.’

I don’t go to church. Kneeling bags my nylons.

Una joven pretende entrar a una discoteca, pero el portero la detiene:

“�Aqu� s�lo se puede entrar con disfraz!”

La mujer se va para su casa pensando c�mo disfrazarse. En eso, se le ocurre una idea:

“�Ya est�, me voy desnuda y pintada de blanco! Se acab�, un disfraz.”

Llega a la disco, la dejan entrar y cuando est� all� bailando se le acerca un tipo y le pregunta:

“Oye, t� vienes de fantasma �no?”

La t�a le lanza con una mirada p�cara, levanta una pierna y contesta:

“No, hijo, no. �Vengo de muela picada, de muela picada!”

Why do Mexicans drive around in Low Riders?

– So they can drive and pick vegetables at the same time.

El profesor de Ciencias Naturales decide hacer una prueba oral y llama a una alumna:

“Existe una parte del cuerpo del hombre que se pueda dilatar hasta siete veces su tama�o. �Cu�l es esa parte?”

“No puedo decirlo, profesor…”, responde la alumna, roja de verg�enza.

“Entonces por no responder, tiene cero. La respuesta correcta es las pupilas de los ojos. �A juzgar por su respuesta tiene usted mucha imaginaci�n y seguramente no tardar� en tener tambi�n una gran decepci�n!”

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. ‘I’d like to buy a bra for my wife”What type of bra?’ asked the clerk.’Type?’ inquires the man ‘There is more than one type?”Look Around,’ said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.’Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,’ replied the salesclerk.Confused, the man asked what were the types.The saleslady replied ‘The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?’Still confused the man asked ‘What is the difference between them?’The lady responded ‘It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.

    Dick Cheney, President Bush and his father areflying on Air Force One. Dick looks at Dubya, chuckles and says, “You know, I couldthrow a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.”

If your dick was as big as your ass you would be an all around player