Category: other

One day, the president of the corporation starts calling in his senior vice presidents, one by one for a short talk.

Then he starts calling in the junior vice presidents, one by one.

Then he proceeded to call in all the rest of the company’s officers in order of seniority.

Finally, he calls in the new office boy. The office boy is petrified (he has never met the president before).

The president tells the office boy to sit down, and he bellows at the boy, “Have you been fooling around with the new secretary?”

The terrified office boy stammered out, “No, sir.”

So the president says, “Good, then you fire her!”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

what do you call a sleep walkin nun?
a roaming catholic

Armando y Mar�a daban un paseo rom�ntico por el campo. Los deseos amorosos de Armando aumentaban conforme se internaban entre los arboles. Justo cuando su cachondez llegaba al m�ximo y comenzaba a arrim�rsele a Mar�a, ella lo interrumpe:

“Espero no te moleste, pero tengo ganas echarme una meadita”.

Un poco sorprendido por la vulgaridad, le dice, “est� bien, �por qu� no te vas detr�s de estos arbustos?

Ella asiente y desaparece detr�s de la maleza.

Mientras Armando espera, puede escuchar el sonido de los calzoncillos de nil�n desliz�ndose por las hermosas piernas de Mar�a, imaginando todo aquello que est� quedando expuesto. Incapaz de contener un segundo m�s sus instintos de lubricidad, mete el brazo a trav�s de los arbustos y toca la pierna de Mar�a. Suavemente sube la mano m�s y m�s, hasta que, horrorizado, agarra algo largo y grueso que cuelga entre las piernas de Mar�a.

“�Mar�a, por Dios! �Cambiaste de sexo?, grita angustiado”.

“No”, contesta ella, “cambie de opini�n… estoy cagando”.

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a cat-house for some tail….. When they arrived, the madam took one look at them and decided she wasn’t going to waste any of her girls on these two old men.

So she used “blow-up” dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man’s room and left them to their business.

After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking.

The first man said, “I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or even groaned… how was it for you?”

The second man replied, “I think mine was a witch.”

The first man asked, “How’s that?” “Well,” said the second man, “when I nibbled on her breast…..she farted and flew out the window!”

Yo mama is so dumb she stuck a battery up her butt and said, “I got energy!”

What do you call a Jewish American Princess’s nipple?

– The Tip of the Iceberg.

Two friends are hunting deer in the forest when they slip down a hill into a river. They manage to make it to the shoreline but realize that now their guns are waterlogged and useless. They decide to walk back to their car when they stumble upon a bear and her cubs. Realizing they’re defenseless and cannot outrun her, they’re paralyzed with fear.

Then one of the guys bends down and begins tying his boot laces especially tight. His friend says, “What are you doing? We’re doomed! You can’t outrun a bear!”

His friend replies, “I know that, but I plan to outrun you.”

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Man who stand on toilet high on pot.

Man who jizz in cash register come into money.

Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

Man who finger girl having period get caught red handed.

Baseball wrong–man with four balls cannot walk.

Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.

Learn to masturbate–come in handy.

Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock.

Man who buy drowned cat must pay for wet pussy.

Virgin like balloon–one prick, all gone.

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.

He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.

Girl who sits on Judge’s lap gets honorable discharge.

He who run behind bus get exhausted.

Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.

He who fishes in others’ holes often catches crabs.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown

A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he’d
eaten downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head
down and see if it was really as large and delicious as he was
making it out to be.

The group was seated in the back of the restaurant.

After looking over the menu, they ordered and waited, hungrily,
for their delicious pieces of gigantic steaks. To their
collective disappointment, the waiter brought out some of the
smallest steaks they’d ever seen.

“Now see here,” the very embarrassed guy said to the waiter.
“Yesterday when I came down here you served me a BIG, juicy,
steak. Today, though, when I have my friends invited, you serve
small miniature steaks! What is the meaning of this?”

“Yes, sir,” replied the waiter, “yesterday you were sitting by
the window.”

What do you call Oprah Winfrey with a yeast infection! Answer: Whooper with cheese.

You’re so poor that you put a Happy Meal from McDonald’s on Lay-A-way.

A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!”

Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, “Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!”