How do Chinese people give their kids their names…
They roll a trash can down a hill.”Ching clang mang bang!!””
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Category: other
Una mujer enormemente gorda, mofletuda
Una mujer enormemente gorda, mofletuda y m�s fea que el hambre, acude al m�dico:
“Doctor, aqu� en mi barriguita hay algo que me sube hasta el cuellito. Luego me baja hasta mi traserito y otra vez vuelve a subir y otra vez vuelve a bajar…”
“�Y en qu� momento del d�a sucede eso?”, interroga el m�dico.
“Siempre despu�s de comer, doctor”.
“�Ah, entonces lo que Ud. tiene es un pedo indeciso, que con su cara de culo no sabe por donde salir!”, asegura el galeno.
How come there were only
How come there were only 10,000 Mexicans at the Alamo?
They only had 2 cars.
Dead dog
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on. After many long years of companionship, the dog finally died so Muldoon went to the parish priest:
“Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?”
Father Patrick replied, “I am so very sorry to hear about your dog`s death. But, unfortunately we cannot have services for an animal in the church. However, there`s a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they`ll do something for the animal.”
Muldoon said, “I`ll go right now. Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?”
Father Patrick: “$500? – Why didn`t you tell me the dog was Catholic?!”
Like a Bull!
A man and his wife were on a train passing through farm country. As the train slowed down they saw a bull mounting one cow after another. The wife turned to her husband and remonstrated.”Why aren’t you men capable of doing things that way?””My dear,” he answered, “we can if you let us change cows each time!”
German
Q: How do you get a German out of the bath?
A: Turn on the water.
Un par de amigos estaban
Un par de amigos estaban bebiendo en un bar, cuando uno entre sollozos le dice al otro:
“Hermano, ayer encontre a mi mujer haciendo el amor con otro hombre en mi propia casa y en mi cama.”
“No lo puedo creer, pero dime �tu que medidas tomaste?”
“�Pues que medidas voy a tomar si todo lo ten�a adentro!”
Un jud�o est� agonizando y
Un jud�o est� agonizando y le dice jadeante a su �nico hijo:
“Isaac, como estoy pr�ximo a morir, quiero que sepas que las siete casas, los tres edificios, los treinta taxis, la f�brica de telas, las dos fincas, las ocho tiendas… las joyas… los t�tulos valores… las esculturas…”
“S�, papi… �me los dejas?”
“Te los vendo baratos… baratos…”
“Doctor, doctor, mi esposa cree
“Doctor, doctor, mi esposa cree que es un refrigerador.”
“No se preocupe. Ya se le pasar�.”
“S�, pero mientras tanto yo no puedo pegar un ojo en toda la noche, porque ella duerme con la boca abierta y la luz me da en la cara.”
Refrigerator
What’s the difference between a refrigerator and woman?
The refrigerator doesn’t say “OOHHH”, when you pull the meat out.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
“Llevo casado veinte a�os y
“Llevo casado veinte a�os y sigo enamorado de la misma mujer.”
“�Eso es maravilloso, qu� bonito…!”
“�Si? �Pues c�mo se entere mi mujer me mata!”
Pretty pussy
Hank Smith gets home from work one day and finds his wife has been crying.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“John, promise you won’t get mad, but I went to see the new doctor today and he told me I’ve got a pretty pussy.”
“WHAT?” he shouts. With that he grabs a baseball bat from the closet and storms down to the doctor’s office and through the reception area.
Without knocking he bursts into the doctor’s office.
The doctor is in the process of giving an old lady a breast examination. She screams and tries to cover herself.
Without waiting, Mr. Smith charges up to the doctor, smashes the baseball bat down on the desk and says, “You flaming pervert how dare you say my wife has a pretty pussy!”
The doctor replies, “I’m sorry Mr. Smith, but there has been a misunderstanding. I only told your wife that she has Acute Angina.”
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis