How many men does it take to open a beer?
None.
It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
Category: other
MY KIND DA JOKE
What dose a chainsaw and the KKK have in common.
They both go run niga niga,run.
You must be hungry
Waitress: Hawaii, Mister? You must be Hungary.
Gent: Yes, Siam. And I can’t Rumania long, either. Venice lunch ready?
Waitress: I’ll Russia table. What are you Ghana Havre? Aix?
Gent: You want Tibet? I prefer Turkey. Can Jamaica cook step on the Gaza bit?
Waitress: Odessa laugh! Alaska, but listen for her Wales.
Gent: I’m not Balkan. Just put a Cuba sugar in my Java.
Waitress: Don’t you be Sicily, big boy. Sweden it yourself. I’m only here to
Serbia.
Gent: Denmark my check and call the Bosphorus, Egypt me. There’s an
Eire. I hope he’ll Kenya. I don’t Bolivia know who I am!
Waitress: Canada noise! I don’t Caribbean. You sure Ararat!
Gent: Samoa your wisecracks? What’s got India? D’you think this arguing Alps
business? Why be so Chile? Be Nice!
Waitress: Don’t Kiev me that Boulogne! Alemain do! Spain in the neck. Pay
your Czech and don’t Kuwait. Ayssinia!
Gent (to himself): I’ll come back with my France and Taiwan on Zanzibar is
open.
Brave Old Firemen
One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical
plant. Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire
Departments from miles around. After fighting the fire for over an hour, the
chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, “All of our
secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved!
I will give $50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!” As soon
as the chief heard this, he ordered the firemen to strengthen their attack on
the blaze. After two more hours of attacking the fire, president of the company
offered $100,000 to the engine company that could bring out the company’s secret
files.
From the distance a long siren was heard and another fire truck came into
sight. It was a local volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65.
To everyone’s amazement the little fire engine raced through the chemical plant
gates and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. In the distance the
other firemen watched as the old timers hopped off of their rig and began to
fight the fire with an effort that they had never seen before. After an hour of
intense fighting the volunteer company had extinguished the fire and saved the
secret formulas. Joyous the chemical company president announced that he would
double the reward to $200,000 and walked over to personally thank each of the
volunteers.
After thanking each of the old men individually the president asked the group
what they intended to do with the money. The fire truck driver looked him right
in the eye and said – “The first thing we’re going to do is fix the blasted
brakes on that truck!”
10 more years
Funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. at the end
of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they
accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. they hear a faint moan! they
open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! she lives for ten
more years, and then dies. once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it,
the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. as they carry the casket
towards the door, the husband cries out: “watch that f****** wall!”
Una pareja de novios est�
Una pareja de novios est� en casa de la novia acarici�ndose y bes�ndose, y de pronto el chico, emocionado, se saca su “cosa”.
Repentinamente llega el padre de la chica y a nuestro amigo no le da tiempo de guardarse su “cosa” y decide tirarse en el piso como si estuviera buscando algo. El suegro, intrigado por la extra�a posici�n del chico le pregunta:
“�Qu� co�o est�s haciendo?”
“�Es que vi a un rat�n que acaba de cruzar por aqu�!”
“�Pero t� est�s busc�ndolo para matarlo o para cog�rtelo?”
“Oye, Manolo, �qu� d�a es
“Oye, Manolo, �qu� d�a es hoy?”
“No lo s�. Espera, que le pregunto a mi mujer”.
“Pilarica, �qu� es hoy?”
“�T�, un impotente!”
“No, mujer, de d�a”.
“�Un gilipollas!”
first love then drama
Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get da pain
The boy says that he loves you
And you belive its true
But when your tummy starts to swell
He says the hell with you
10 minutes of pleasure
9 monthes of pain
3 days in the hospital
a baby without a name
the dad is a bastared
the mother is a whor*
this never would have happend
if the rubber never hadn`t tore!!
What is mass confusion in
What is mass confusion in Harlem?
Father’s Day.
Yo mama’s So Stupid
Yo’ mama so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out!
A man appears before the pearly gates…
A man appears before the Pearly Gates
“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?””
If you take an Oriental
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around, does he become
disoriented?