Category: other

What’s the difference between a Cop
with a speed gun and going down on a woman? .
When you go down on a woman you can
always see the cunt behind the bush!

There are three guys named Manners, Shutup, and Crap.

They were really bored, so they decided to run a race. During the race, Crap fell down, and Manners stopped to help him. But Shutup ran so fast the police caught him. Here’s how the conversation went:

Police Officer #1: “What’s your name?”
Shutup: “Shutup.”

Police Officer #2: “Where’s your manners?”
Shutup: Back there picking up Crap!”

Dos borrachos, por la calle, se tropiezan con un pocot�n de mierda:

“Compa�ero, eso es mierda”.

“No, no, no, eso es un pastel”.

“Que no, que no, eso es mierda”.

“Le digo que no, pru�bela y ver�”.

Despu�s que la prueba:

“Ten�as raz�n es mierda, �menos mal que no la pisamos!”

Three nuns die, but they all have to answer one question to get into heaven.
The first nun is asked who the first man on earth was. She replies, ”Oh that’s
easy, Adam!” Lights flash and the pearly gates open.

The second nun is asked ”Who was the first woman on earth?” she says,
��that’s easy, Eve!” Lights flash and the gates open.

The Third nun is asked, ��what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?” The nun
is puzzled and can’t figure it out, so she says, ��that’s a hard one.” Lights
flash up and the pearly gates open.

A sorority girl is having sex with her boyfriend one night when she asks, �Just this once, can we put it in the other hole? I think I�d really like that.�

�Are you crazy?� her boyfriend cries. �You might get pregnant that way!�

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

This lady is shopping in a supermarket when she notices this handsome muscular boy doing the bagging at one of the checkouts.Making sure she goes through his line she leans over and asks if he’ll carry her groceries out to which he responds, “Sure lady”.They no sooner get out of the store and she again leans over and whispers, “You know, I have an Itchy Pussy”, to which he responds, “You’ll have to point it out to me lady, all those Japanese cars look alike!!”

The car wash I go to has started sprayingthe inside of my car with
the same “new car smell” that automobile dealers use.

Now when passangers get into my car they think I have a brand new,
piece-of-shit, beat-up old Gremlin.

Young couple makes love on a deserted beach. A young monk accidentally passes by. He can’t help thinking about the love scene:”It makes me sick!” His lisping member stands: “It maketh me thick! (illustration available)

A pair of counterfeiters accidentally make some thirteen dollar bills.
No business in town will accept the money, and they are about to throw
it away when they run across a store run by an [ethnic].
They ask the [ethnic] for change from the $13 bill, and he replies
“Certainly, would you like a nine and a four, or a seven and two threes?”

Q: Why dont mexicans and blacks have children together?

A: They’re afraid the kids will grow up too lazy to steal.

This little boy and his grandfather are fishing. Granddad pulls
out a beer and the little boy says “Grandpa, can I have one of
those?” Grandpa says “Is your penis big enough to touch your
asshole?” to which the little boy responds “No.” “Then you can’t
have one.” A while later, the granddad pulls out a cigar and the
boy asks, “Can I have on of those?”

Grandpa says “Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?”
to which the little boy responds “No.” “Then you can’t have
one.” Later on, Grandpa and Grandson go to the grocery store for
food and each buy a lottery ticket. Grandpa is unlucky, but the
little boy says “I just won $50,000”

Grandpa says, “Great, your going to split that with me, right?”
The little boy asks, “Grandpa, is your penis long enough to
touch your asshole?” “Yes,” Says grandpa. “Then go fuck
yourself!”

A�n no hab�a comenzado la misa. Algunos conversaban bajito, otros rezaban. De repente, se aparece el diablo frente a la congregaci�n. Todos salen disparados en estado de p�nico. Todos, menos un viejito que ni se movi�.

El diablo le clav� una mirada fulminante preguntando:

“�Y t�, no me tienes miedo?”

“�Qu� va, estuve casado con tu hermana por cuarenta a�os!”